Brock at 4 months...

- can roll from tummy to back
- drools EVERYWHERE!

- talks and babbles....loves to have conversations with you

- is a tight wad with his giggles right now

- his eyes sparkle when he's happy

- his brothers love to smooch on him

- sits in his Bumbo pretty good now

- still likes to be swaddled up to sleep

- goes hot and cold with his soother

- is smaller than the other two

- looks like Zane did at this age

- is growing and changing so fast

- usually sleeps 6 hours to start the night off

- still loves to stand all the time

p.s. for those who noticed the pants REALLY don't match...he just had shots and sore legs...needed something comfy and spacious. His jeans just weren't cutting it.

Firsts....

Rhett peed on the potty for the very first time today. He also peed on the floor 3 times, but heh, let's focus on the positives. Does this mean that I'm full-fledged potty training? For a few hours every day, yes. Slow and steady.

Brock rolled over from his tummy to his back fully without any help. And so it begins!

(and in case you were wondering....the laundry was clean!)

Star Wars and Frying Pans

My 6 year old is obsessed with Star Wars. Between Lego Star Wars and the 6 movies (he's almost seen all 6 now) he can tell me what the episode is called, what the chapter is called and the run down of the basic story line in that particular setting. It's unnerving. Mostly because I never cared that much about Star Wars before and now my limited knowledge is being tested by a 6 year old with a FANTASTIC memory. After being quizzed for 5 minutes one morning on the ins and outs of a story line I finally sighed and said "Zane, mommy doesn't know as much about Star Wars as you do. I'm a girl and my memory just doesn't remember it as well as yours does". He was SHOCKED! It was actually quite funny. Then the other day he was going to ask me something but said oh, never mind. I asked him what was going on and he said he forgot I wasn't a Star Wars person. Oh, the guilt. But it is still fun to watch and listen to him. He will draw a picture of some scene and then have me spell out the words so he can write down the episode, chapter and story line. We have 2 on the freezer right now waiting for Auntie Lishie. And it is fun to watch him and Rhett play out the scenes (when they're not trying to kill each other). Rhett's always asking Zane to 'pick' him. He wants Zane to assign him a character. Sometimes he's happy with his assignment and sometimes he's not. Zane gets frustrated sometimes because Rhett doesn't always follow the 'rules' of the movie and likes to mix things up - like Chewbacca having a light saber instead of a gun. That's just not done in Zane's world. So we're trying to remind him that it's pretend and anything can happen in pretend and his brother is allowed to make up some of the rules too. But mostly Rhett goes along with what Zane tells him to do and they follow the story line of whatever episode Zane's been puzzling out in his head. I do know the difference between a Force Push and a Force Lightening. Do you?

And the frying pans. Apparently in nursery they have 3 toy frying pans that go with the kitchen and they are the first thing that Rhett goes for every Sunday. He picks them up, tucks one under his arm and carries two in his hand and walks around for the rest of the time with these frying pans. The nursery leaders find this hilarious and keep teasing me about it, wondering what in the world I do with him at home that he's so attached to these frying pans. So Sunday they actually came and got me so I could see this for myself. And sure enough he's wondering around with them. To me, it's perfectly normal. I'm used to him picking up random objects and pretending that they are something completely different and being very attached to them. I told them that he probably has termed them his 'good guys' or his 'ships' and that he just has a great imagination. They still think it's really funny. I think it's great that he can make a toy out of anything.

Life with boys is so different. They play different, they think different, they react differently. But I wouldn't trade them. Even if I do feel like a fish out of water with all the light sabers, guns, swords, and action figures that litter my house these days!

Before I forget....

Brock giggled for the first time Monday night! It was perfect timing too because we are sitting there together. The other 2 had their first giggle when it was just me. The big boys were thrilled and Zane wanted to know how Brock knew how to giggle. Of course he hasn't done it again but we're waiting anxiously! And I weighed him at the health unit today...he's 13-10. I'm not sure if that's good or not...he's 15 weeks and was 8-0 when he was born...so almost 6 lbs - is that a good weight gain? He'll have his 4 month checkup in about a week and a half...they won't do it until after the 8th....so I guess we'll see what percentile he's in.
And the rest of what I had to say will have to wait as some little person is wailing in his swing. Sigh.

Lots of pictures....

So these are NOT in order....I don't have time to try and get them there....but I will write a little under each of them...Hope you enjoy!
Rhett with his 'light saber'. Don't ask me why a bat was pressed into this service when we own 5 light sabers.....

Zane showing off his Jedi Master stance. The monkey robe really adds to the character don't you think?

Zane and Brock. Brock looks like he's in pain but he's really just trying to pull himself up.

Rhett and Brock. Rhett's really been wanting to sit with Brock, hold Brock and have him around a lot lately.

Brock maxin' and relaxin' in the big chair.

How can you not love this face. Oh I just LOOOOVVVE my baby!

I love this picture because it makes his feet look huge! He's just getting good at sitting in the Bumbo and I'm loving it for working in the kitchen and stuff.

Tummy time!

Chattin' it up with Daddy

Big smiles for daddy. Grr I wish my program was working so I could fix this one up a bit. Sigh.

Talking to daddy.....

Birthday on his actual birthday....we had ice cream sundaes so no candles...

Birthday cake and candles at Grandma and Grandpa Johnson's. Birthdays are definitely events in our household.

Birthday party at the park! Perfect day and venue for it! The wind made it tricky to get the candles lit but daddy did it!

The anticipation was hard for him....

Zane's first soccer game...his back is to the camera

Doing a drill in practice. They practice for 1/2 an hour and then play the other team for the last 1/2 hour.

Brock's sunburn from Rhett's birthday party. I wasn't a very bright mom that day...

Zane got a Principal's award at school for doing all the things he was supposed to in a month. This is him and his teacher Mrs. Cocks after getting it.

Zane and the principal Mr. Sanche

Thankful

for the money we pay to have Onstar at our beck and call when we need them. My van battery was deader than a door knob this morning....don't know why. But after a quick call to OnStar they connected me to a dispatcher and within a half hour I had a big tow truck at my house boosting my van. After letting it run to charge up the battery it's all good. And although the service was really great I'm hoping not have to use it again for quite awhile!

8 years....

Ago Cliff and I got married! Wow. It went really fast. And I've been thinking about some things that have stayed the same, changed and happened to us over the last 8 years...

- We've lived in 5 different wards
- moved 9 times
- had 3 different vehicles
- have 3 children
- 2 miscarriages
- managed apartment buildings twice and NEVER again
- I worked before we had Zane and one year after.
- We moved to Red Deer 4 years ago. It was one of the hardest things I've ever done.
- we moved to Sylvan Lake 1.5 years ago and have been very blessed here.
- We've held callings - Cliff usually in some capacity with the youth and me with music
- we went to California together for our 6th anniversary and toured through Cliff's mission.
- we bought our first house. We're still here.
- we've made lots of friends along the way...some we are still very close to and some we are not. It's interesting to me how the Lord blesses us with people at different times in our lives and although we are still friends with those people the relationship dynamics have changed. And that's OK.
- made some bad decisions and some good ones
- always have tried to do better
- love each other more today than we did 8 years ago
- are even more committed than 8 years ago
- have learned some things...like I shouldn't expect the house to be clean if I surprise Cliff by coming home a day early when the kids and I have been home visiting.....and being a golf widow every Friday during the season can be beneficial.
- Cliff turned 30
- I lost 65 lbs and gained a lot of it back again while pregnant with Brock
- we've dealt with a lot of stress together and have come out of it closer and stronger
- our first miscarriage was one of the hardest things we've gone through...but we made it together and with the Lord
- We've watched all of our siblings graduate high school, one get married and one get engaged
- we will soon be an auntie and uncle for the first time
- Cliff has always been a worthy priesthood holder and uses it regularly to bless our family
- our house used to stay clean....not so much any more
- we have accumulated a staggering amount of kid's toys, clothes and other things that go along with children.
- we have developed hobbies
- we have loved, grown, and stayed true to each other and I can honestly say that we are happy.
And I think that's a pretty awesome thing to be able to say!

I could go on and on. A lot of things happen to a couple in 8 years. I'm sure the next 8 will go by just as quickly and will be filled with many wonderful things as well as many trials. But I know we'll be together and we'll take it as it comes - together!
Happy Anniversary Hon - I love ya!

3 months....

Time flies and babies get bigger and bigger!

Brock is a little over 3 months now and is funner every day. Some things he's doing now:

- sleeping SO good on his tummy. I'm only up once a night with him.

- drooling over every thing!

- grabbing toys and blankets

- rolling onto his side

- smiling

- almost laughing

- talking like crazy

- lifts his head and shoulders up and looks around

- standing - his little legs are so stinkin' strong and it's all he wants to do when you're holding him

- still likes to be swaddled up to go to sleep

- occasionally takes his soother but nothing like Rhett did. Sigh.

- refuses formula. Another sigh

- usually has 2 good naps a day and a couple of little cat naps thrown in

- does some marathon nursing before going down for the night

- is getting too social while nursing - likes to eat a little and then turn the full force of his baby blues on me and smile and coo. Who can resist that?

- Puts his pouty lip out sometimes

- starting to stand in his jumperoo

He's such a delightful baby. We love him to pieces!

So as you can see I've figured out how to get pictures uploaded...I just can't run my program to do anything to them. Hence the red eyes and some not great color but I'm working on it. It's better than nothing for now!

Rhett at 3....

is very different than Zane was at 3. I think it's more than personality. I think part of it comes from having a big brother to introduce him to a whole lot of things that didn't exist in Zane's world at 3. Examples: Star Wars, Indiana Jones, Transformers.....With these additions from his big brother's world comes a whole new vocabulary that sometimes makes sense and sometimes doesn't. He gets very upset with me when he's trying to tell me which character he is being and I'm not catching on.

Rhett at 3 loves to pretend. His imagination is awesome! And although it seems like we own every toy under the sun -OK maybe a slight exaggeration - he still plays with magnets, spoons, pencils, toothbrushes, etc as his good or bad guys. He changes it up every day or so and I'm kept on my toes knowing which is the good guy today.

Rhett at 3 doesn't eat cake, cupcakes or ice cream in a bowl. He'll ask for it, take a stab at it and walk away from it. He will eat a DQ ice cream cone and points out the ice cream store quite often!

Rhett at 3 LOVED blowing out his candles. It made his whole birthday.

Rhett at 3 is missing his mommy time. He adores Brock....just hates having to wait while mom is nursing him.

Rhett at 3 has absolutely NO patience. Not even a smidgen. We're talking instant gratification and if I tell him no, or yes but he has to wait, he's quite annoyed and usually will whine/cry and keep repeating what it is that he wants. This drives me NUTS when I'm nursing Brock and can't do anything about it. But we're working on it.

Rhett at 3 loves to be outside playing and cries when Zane wants to come in. He doesn't like to be out there by himself.

Rhett at 3 does really well in new situations when Zane is around. Not so good on his own. But we're going to work on that come fall.

Rhett at 3 can be the sweetest, most thoughtful little boy that ever was. He's my little sweetheart.

Rhett at 3 adores Grammie.

Rhett at 3 loves to play on the computer and has mastered quite a few games.

Rhett at 3 is learning letters and numbers. He likes to dance to the alphabet song.

Rhett at 3 asks all day when it's time to go get Zane from school.

Rhett at 3 loves to jump on Grandma J's trampoline.

Rhett at 3 sits good to get his hair cut...most of the time.

Just some of the things I wanted to remember about my sweet boy at 3!

Birthday, Quilt, Grad....oh my!

Wow, I knew it had been a while since I posted but I didn't realize that it had been that long. Sigh. Days and weeks are flying by much too fast. So let's play catch up.

The end of April was spent wishing for nicer weather, getting used to Brock sleeping well on his tummy, trying to find the time and energy to finish Kristie's quilt, playing with friends and all the mundane but important things that moms do. Oh, and doing a bunch of tests because I've been having gall bladder attacks again - minus the gall bladder. Blood work, ultra sound and CT scan later says I'm normal. Doc thinks that I probably have small stones in my liver and get the attacks when one of them passes. So far they haven't been too bad so we're just monitoring it as best as we can for now. The CT scan was interesting as I got there and was informed that I couldn't nurse for 48 HOURS! I didn't know that. So Brock went cold turkey for a day and a half and I pumped and dumped. I said a prayer on the way home from the hospital that he would be able to tolerate that much formula at once and be able to drink it until it was OK for him to nurse again. He did fine for 36 hours and then flatly refused any more. So I started nursing him again trusting that the Lord had blessed him for the time that he needed. The only negative side is that he refuses ANY formula now so if I need to leave him I have to try and pump enough for him. It's limiting but worth it.

May 1st found us celebrating Rhett's 3rd birthday. His actual birthday is on the 4th but we had the party on the Friday so Cliff could be there too. We planned for the park, crossed our fingers and got lucky! The weather was gorgeous, we had lots of friends come and Rhett thought everyone at the park that day was there for him! The kids had a blast running all over the park and playing. We took a break for candles, cupcakes and presents and then it was back to playing again. I went to the dollar store and got a bunch of buckets and shovels for the treat bags and they were a hit! A success all around. When you ask Rhett how old he is he'll tell you 3 but hold up 2 fingers. Quite cute! And I was a brain dead mom and forgot to think about the sun so Zane got burnt, I got burnt and even Brock got a little sun burnt. Grrrr. Rhett has been living with his hat on - it comes off for prayer, bath and bed. That's it. So he was spared the sun burn. Oh well. We all lived and they weren't bad. Just a little red reminder to bring the sunscreen out.

It was also Stake Conference weekend and the evening session for adults was a panel discussion about preparedness. They had 6 members of the stake at the front who were the 'experts' in certain fields of preparedness either because of their actual work or their current calling and after some brief comments opened the panel to questions from the audience. It was very different. What I got out of the whole thing was that there are many resources within our stake that we aren't aware of and if we have concerns about something we need to take them to our RS pres, Elders Quorum Pres, Bishop, etc and if they don't know the answer they can find out for us. I was a great big chicken and did not venture out Sunday with three kids by myself. Cliff had to work in Calgary and I just wasn't up to sitting with 3 kids by myself not knowing if I could leave the 2 older ones with someone I knew to go and nurse Brock and logistics like that. The kids were bears all morning so I was glad I had made that choice!

Monday was Rhett's actual birthday and we got a great surprise...Grammie S was able to come up because Grandpa Dooley had a load to Red Deer! So me and the 2 little boys went and picked her up in the afternoon and Zane was surprised that Grammie was there after school to get him! We also had our good friends the Allreds over for ice cream sundaes and candles and happy birthday for Rhett again. Birthdays aren't just a day in our house it seems. They're more of an extended event. Anyways, with Grammie here I was able to get Krisite's quilt almost done...just the binding had to be hand sewn.

Zane started soccer on Tuesday. It was so fun to watch him. He did really good for his first organized game and his team came out tied. They play the width of the field and have one regular field split into 4 different games. They play 3 on 3 and about 3 minute shifts so everyone gets lots of playing time and ball time. He plays Tuesdays and Thursdays until the end of June. And he LOVED it. And of course he slept super well that night. The rest of us froze (minus Brock who was either nursing or in the snugly) and we were really glad that soccer was only an hour!

We left Thursday afternoon for Barnwell for Kristie's high school grad. We stopped in Calgary to eat and feed Brock, tried to do a little bit of shopping, carried on to Lethbridge, dropped Grammie at her truck and carried on to Barnwell. It was a long trip but the kids were troopers.

Friday Cliff went golfing with his Uncle Roy in Taber and I took the kids to show off at mom's work. Kristie watched the big boys in the afternoon while Cliff and I did a bunch of stuff in Lethbridge. We got to see his Grandma and Grandpa Jackson (grandpa's in the hospital) and they haven't seen Brock yet so that was really nice. And we also hooked up with his Uncle Gary and Aunt Melanie who we haven't seen in 5 years because they've been living in Ireland. It was a busy day but a lot of fun to see everyone and get a good visit in.

Saturday was Kristie's grad and was spent going back and forth to the different parts of grad. Auntie Rikki watched the big boys for the morning exercises and Auntie Kizzy came and picked them up for the evening part. I finished off the quilt in the morning...took pictures but still am having program issues. It's on my radar, I promise. Anyways, Kristie looked gorgeous - I wished her dress was a little more modest but that was her choice and it definitely made her look all grown up.

And then it was all of a sudden Sunday. We went to church in Barnwell, saw a lot of good friends, had a fabulous mother's day dinner, hung out with family and then packed up and came home.

I have a list a mile long of things I want to do but I'm trying to categorize them and focus on one thing a day instead of trying to do too much in one day. And I have finally got back on the weight loss wagon. I've flirted with exercise over the past 12 weeks, and have had a few good eating days but I wasn't completely committed and any little thing swayed my resolve. Not the way to lose the weight - I know - I've been here before. So I did a lot of thinking and decided I needed some added incentive to eat good - that's the part I'm most struggling with. And I came up with a fabulous bribe! For every day I stay on points (I'm doing the same Weight Watchers system I did last time) I get $1 to spend on fabric! There is a fabulous Jelly Roll (which is a bunch of pre-cut and matched strips rolled up together for those of you who don't quilt) that I've been eyeing up in a store in Lethbridge. Yep, it's gonna be mine. So far so good. I even baked like a mad woman today and resisted the cookies. That's HUGE! And how did I bake do you ask? A little bit of planning and a LOT of luck!

Hopefully it won't be so long until I post again.....I'll try to pencil it in more often!

10 Things....

Yep, it's that time again. Actually I think it was that time about 2 months ago but oh well. And sadly there won't be any pictures because I haven't got my camera program uploaded onto the new computer...it's on my to do list I promise. Right after feeding Brock every 2 hours and laundry and picking Zane up from school and the quilt that is staring at me reminding me that the deadline it needs to be done for is getting closer and closer. But I digress!



10 Things I want to Remember about Zane:

1. How independent he is in so many things now - it's fun to watch him do more grown up things
2. He's very helpful when he's in the mood to be. Sometimes he acts so much older than 6 and is willing to do anything that he can to to help, and sometimes he just wants to be a kid and do nothing that I ask him to
3. He LOVES his brothers and is usually so patient and kind with them
4. He's very thoughtful and is always thinking of someone that he can "make" something for - usually a paper, marker and tape creation of some sort
5. His quick mind - he remembers things that I didn't even realize he picked up on! It usually makes me giggle but sometimes I wish he didn't listen so close!
6. He's really working hard on learning to tell time. He's got the hours and 1/2 hours figured out and is slowly getting the grasp of the rest of it by asking questions and mulling it over
7. His reading vocab is getting bigger and he's thinking about words a lot. The other day we were walking along somewhere and he out of the blue says "mom, you know if you take the B out of Brock you just get rock". I assured him that he was right and his thought process went on to something else. So fun!
8. I love to listen to him and Rhett play at their pretend games. Zane's getting really good at making up the stories and is always saying "Rhett....And then...." and the story goes from there. 9. Thanks to recess at school he now LOVES playing outside and can come up with some pretty good games. Also thanks to recess I recently laundered a pocketful of pea gravel. Time to start checking pockets again!
10. He still loves to give me hugs and kisses. I'm trying really hard to cherish each one because I know my days are numbered!



10 Things I want to remember about Rhett:

1. His imagination is taking off!!! He will turn anything into a gun, light saber, sword or shovel. And then he takes said object, tucks it under his right arm pit and walks around with it for the rest of the day, pulling it out and brandishing it at the appropriate time in his or Zane's imaginary game. He also makes "good guys" out of random objects that he picks up. Examples would be magnets, measuring cups and spoons, juice box straws, broken pencils...well you get the picture.
2. In some ways he wants to be a big a kid and in other ways he is not interested!
3. He is learning to be a great big brother. When we first brought Brock home he was really nervous around him and didn't want to touch or hold him. I think part of that was because we had to be so anal with hand washing etc. But lately he's been loving on him and even asked to hold him and conceded to a picture.
4. He is getting very good at ignoring us when he wants to. It's really annoying when you ask him to do something and he doesn't want to do it. He hides his face behind his blanket and pretends that the world has left....grr.
5. He loves mommy to cuddle with him at night to go to sleep. It's our time and he gets really sad when I have to feed Brock and can't come right at bed time.
6. We are entering the stage of being afraid of things. He was having a couple of really rough nights and Friday night when I was tucking him in he said "I 'cared of piderman'. It took me a minute to realize he meant the spider man on his curtains. So I took them down and he's slept great ever since. I unpicked the spider man panels and put the curtains back up and he kept telling me that spider man was all gone and that spider man scared him.
7. He's an all or nothing kid. No distractions. This can be good in some cases but is difficult to deal with when it comes to sharing, toys, chores, etc
8. He needs warning when things are going to change and then he goes along fine with it. When it's time to go get Zane from school I start giving him warnings at 15 mins, 10 mins, 5 mins and then 2 mins and then he doesn't throw the big tantrum when it's time to stop whatever it is that he's doing and go. It works great for other things as well.
9. He is Zane's shadow but is starting to mutiny on some things. He's not so happy to go along with every little thing that Zane insists on.
10. He's been wearing his hat EVERYWHERE...and will randomly come up to me, take his hat off, and say "it's just me mom". He thinks he's in disguise as Indiana Jones when he wears it. So cute!

10 Things I want to remember about Brock....
1. He LOVES to sleep on his tummy
2. His smile lights up his face
3. He is starting to talk
4. He insists on standing up all the time when he's awake and happy
5. loves his Mei Tei (snuggly)
6. Is a good cuddler
7. Recognizes the boys and has big smiles for them
8. Is ticklish but doesn't giggle yet
9. Tolerates his baths
10. Has a very concerned look on his face that I think says "this body is not as advertised!" It just makes me giggle when he ever he pulls it

10 Things I want to remember about Cliff....
1. He got up and slept with Rhett all night in his bed when he came in shortly after we'd gone to bed last night and I was too tired and sore to get up
2. He tries really hard to help with the older boys when I'm busy with Brock
3. He NEVER complains about what the house looks like when he gets home, what supper is or isn't or when the laundry makes it from the basket to the drawers
4. He occasionally surprises me and takes the garbage to the dumpster without me asking
5. He's willing to stay home with the kids so that I can go out in the morning and walk even though it means he has to get up earlier
6. He doesn't tell me no very often
7. I love watching him with Brock. He just loves this little baby. Talking to him, cooing to him, and just hanging out with him.
8. Coming to my defence with the boys. There are times that my wonderful children do not speak to me in very respectful or mindful voices and Cliff is right there reminding them (sometimes rather forcefully) that they are NOT to talk to me like that. I'm thankful for that example and principle that he is teaching them
9. He doesn't complain about the fabric I buy
10. He loves me, baby belly and all

10 Things I want to remember about me....
1. I am coping OK with 3 kids
2. I'm letting little things like dusting go and trying to focus more on the kids
3. I miss my skinny body but have a hard time getting the gumption up to do anything about it
4. I'm trying not to over think and stress out about as many things
5. I want to be released from my music callings....or at least one of them
6. I think I"m doing a pretty good job of raising my boys
7. I miss my hours of me time
8. I think my family is complete. If there is another baby to come I don't want to know ahead of time. I just want to be surprised.
9. I'm frustrated with my body not being healthy and not knowing what is causing it.
10. I miss my sisters.

10 Things I want to remember about our family....
1. We have fun together
2. We didn't have to go vehicle shopping to fit Brock in
3. Our family feels complete
4. We love that it's almost spring
5. We have enough toys to open our own store....at least I think so
6. We are blessed to have me home with the boys and Cliff's job to support us
7. We have so many friends who love us and support us and are willing to help us if we need it
8. We love the gospel
9. We love each other
10. We have a lot of fun memories already

The dark side of puddles...

I bet you didn't know it but there is a dark side to spring puddles and sadly my boys found that out yesterday!

The spring weather has us all going stir crazy so yesterday I loaded the kids up into the van and headed for our favorite park. When we arrived we found it was still heavily puddled and even still had some snow piles but the kids were game and wearing their rubber boots so away they went! 10 minutes later Zane tripped and fell and got fairly wet. After dumping out his boots he decided to carry on. 5 minutes later Rhett went down a slide, took 2 steps and biffed it big time. He was soaked from the neck down! And that was the end to our playground trip. I was glad that we had driven and didn't have a 20 minute walk home with 2 cold and wet kids in tow.

But it was still nice to get some fresh air - even if we had to dump water out of boots when we got home!

The boys had fun finding the Easter eggs the bunny left this morning and Zane announced to us that he couldn't wait to be a daddy so he could know all the secrets about Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny. That kid cracks me up sometimes.

And I performed Cannon in D in church today - the hard version with the choir singing in parts but it's mostly a soloist piece. I've been totally stressing about it because it was really difficult and I didn't feel that it was performance ready. But thanks to lots of prayers I made it through and am pretty happy with how it turned out. I felt like crying when I hit the last chord and knew that it was done!

We had a quiet Easter - just us and some ham and potatoes. Nothing spectacular.

And we got a huge blessing given to us...

My friend Jennie was going to give me her single jogging stroller but when she opened it up found it to be all moldy and gross. No big deal. I have a great stroller - just thought having a jogging one would be nice as well. Then today she was talking to her neighbor after church and the neighbor asked if she knew anyone who needed a jogging stroller. Jennie said yes and told her what had happened with hers. This neighbor used hers ONCE for the grand kids who are too big for it now and is giving it to me! for FREE!!!! I'm really excited to have it and so thankful for our blessings.

I'm thinking about buying a bike and a bike trailer....any opinions from people who have one or would like one? Can you put an infant car seat in one and a 3 year old as well? Brock won't be big enough to sit in one by himself until the end of the summer so I'm going back and forth....

Honesty

Hi. I'm back. Did you miss me? I bet some of you didn't even know I was gone....I went to Raymond for a week and it was lots of fun. A little interesting travelling with 3 kids by myself...but we got lots done. Mom and I made 2 nursing aprons because I've decided to nurse Brock longer than I had planned. He's doing great and I seem to be keeping up so I figured we'd stick with it. Sorry no pics right now. Maybe another time. We also had chest x-rays done on Brock because of a nice croupy cough. Luckily it's just an upper respiratory virus and nothing else...yet. Still waiting for it to go away. I got to attend my mom's RS March 17th party. It was very classy and fun. Got to see lots of people I haven't seen a long while. Auntie Lishe and Auntie Kizzy took the boys to a movie - Monsters vs Aliens. It was in 3-D and both kept their glasses on the whole time! It was Rhett's first time in the theater and once the movie started he did well and enjoyed it. I might have spent a lot of money on some really cute fabric for a quilt that I saw a pattern for and just LOVED it....Ooops. Did I just write that? It really is darling fabric and I'm itching to get at it. Let's see, what else? Dental work for me, shopping for the kids, lots of play time with grammie S and grandpa Dooley, visits and pictures with great grandpa Knibb, and Saturday in Barnwell with grandma and grandpa Johnson. Oh, and I figured out the hard way that if I eat too much fiber Brock is going to pay for it. Poor kid screamed almost all day Saturday and didn't eat at all. I finally got him to eat some formula and I pumped off everything I could to try and spare him any more pain. Yep, I felt like a smuck mom that day. Sigh.


So are you wondering about my title? Here's me being brutally honest about some things in my life right now....

1. I am terrified that I'm going to stay fat. There I said it. I realize that Brock is only 8 weeks old...but how long do I give myself that excuse for not getting up in the morning and working out? I'm terrified that I'm going to keep saying "well Brock is only (insert age) and that he'll be 2 before i know it and I'll still be this size. I feel trapped in my body right now and don't want to stay that way. I keep thinking that I did it last time when I was sleep deprived so what's different this time? I desperately want to be back to where I was after losing all the weight - BUT I wish I had a magic wand to get me there. I am not excited about the work or self control involved in getting there. And I have no clothes that fit besides maternity. I got rid of all my fat clothes. I don't want to go and buy big clothes again. I am dreading summer clothes.

2. I am an emotional eater....especially when I am tired. Again, I am terrified that I will be fat forever. I do good during the day - mostly - and then 5:00 hits. I don't know if I am ever going to win this battle.

3. I worry that I don't give each boy enough of my attention.

4. I am DESPERATE to get back some of my own time and quilt or get to some of the other projects that i want to get done.

5. I am HATING all my piles in my house. I'm still trying to just hold down the fort....therefore a lot of things get shuffled into piles and I can't stand it. But I don't have the time yet to fix it.

6. My kids watch too much TV/movies. Some days I want to change it, some days I don't. They very rarely sit still long enough to see the whole show - cartoon or movie - and it's more like background noise for most of the day.

7. I worry about Rhett making his own friends. He does so much better in social situations when Zane is around.

8. I miss having an adult around all the time to talk to.

9. I am extremely lazy a lot of the time. Some days it bugs me, some days it doesn't.

10. I think I'm going to ask to be released from my music callings. I have had a music calling some way for the last 12 years. I have had short breaks but not many. It's not that they're stressing me out or anything like that. It's more that I'm burnt out, Cliff's burnt out and I'm wondering if there's anything else that I can possibly do in the ward. But then I panic and think that maybe I would be really awful at anything else. What else do I know how to do?

11. I want to do it all - have my house as clean as I like it, spend time with my kids, develop my talents, exercise, read my scriptures, spend time with Cliff, be a great friend, a piano teacher, fulfill my callings and do it all with a smile. Instead I feel like I'm dropping balls a lot and never getting everything done that needs doing and always letting someone or myself down in some area. I know that we aren't supposed to be able to do everything and we have to prioritize and that I have a small baby....but some days I get tired of choosing between good, better, and best.

so there you have it. Some things that have been rolling around in my head lately.

A few things....

That I have been meaning to write down...
- Brock is smiling now. I still have to work pretty hard to coax them out but they just light up his face when he does! His first real gee I'm happy to see you mom smile was on March 18th.
- Rhett needs more mommy attention. I'm working on that.
- Zane had a great birthday and has been such a great brother to share everything with Rhett.
- Rhett was eating crackers this evening as I was nursing Brock and this is what he said " look mom, I'm eating his head (as he took a bite out of both crackers in his hands), look mom I'm eating his arms....in my mouth....look mom I'm eating his bum... At this I burst out laughing! He just cracks me up sometimes.
- We bought a new chair....well new to us. I love kijji. And I never get to sit in it. But both boys fit in it and they're happy happy happy about it.
- Lego Indiana Jones is addicting.
- I went 3 days without eating any chocolate. It's been my big sugar fix lately so it was a big deal. Had a little yesterday....but didn't binge so was happy about that. Did no chocolate and no chips today. Trying to get back to eating healthy and exercising again.
- I worked out 4 times this week. Yeah me! I wish it was 6 times but I'm focusing on the positives.
- Brock still has no schedule. Some days he eats like crazy, some days not. Some nights he sleeps great, some nights not.
- Brock is not a happy boy when I eat ice cream. No, I should re-phrase that. Brock IS a happy boy when I eat ice cream but is happy at 3 am for about 2 hours so mommy isn't happy.
- I am missing the HOURS I was spending on quilting almost every day.
- I finally cleaned my bathroom today. It's been on my list since Monday.
- I went to a fabric store during a 50% sale and didn't buy ANYTHING! I did help a friend spend $200! She's making her first quilt.
- I love going to church but I dread the 9:00 time. I actually have to get up before Brock....still very hard to do that.
- I have to perform Cannon in D on Easter Sunday....I'm very worried. I'm not performance ready yet and my days just keep flying by without my fingers touching the keyboard!
- I'm looking forward to being in southern Alberta, but not the trip by myself with the kids.
- My kids have the best aunties and uncles any kid could ask for.
- I'm due to write a 10 Things post....but not tonight!

Zane is 6

Wow. Zane turned 6 years old on Sunday. We've been parents for 6 years! How has that much time gone by so quickly? We are so blessed to have Zane in our family. He is a kind, caring, sweet little boy who loves life. He is an awesome big brother, thoughtful and loving son and generally a delight to be around. He has a budding testimony of the gospel, asks me questions that make me think and is a SPONGE for information. He loves going to school and has lots of friends. His teacher adores him. And he can't wait for the soccer season to start...he's registered to play for the first time this year. Good thing Cliff and I got him some cleats, shin pads and a real ball for his birthday! He was excited over them but much much more excited over the Lego Indiana Jones game his brothers came up with. Pretty good for almost 3 and 6 weeks, eh? Hee Hee Hee. It really was an eventful weekend....Thursday night Grammie S and Grandpa Dooley surprised us! They weren't supposed to be here until sometime Friday afternoon - but it was awesome to get them early! Friday mom and I took Brock and did all the grocery and party shopping. The boys and Cliff and Grandpa fixed our kitchen faucet and hung out. Saturday mom and dad helped me get everything ready for Saturday night and Sunday. We decided to combine Zane's birthday and Brock's blessing so our families and friends only had to make one trip. However, we couldn't fit everyone into our house at one time so we booked the church. My parents, Cliff's parents and 2 sisters and some friends were all able to make it. We had invited everyone who was standing in the circle with Cliff and their families. Some could come, some couldn't but it was still fun! I made 2 big crock pots full of chili - one very hot at the request of Cliff and Dad. Apparently it still wasn't quite hot enough but whatever. So we had chili, chips, buns and some yummy fruit platters. The kids had a blast running around with the noise makers and balloons I picked up at the dollar store and decorating the crowns I picked up as well. Everyone ate lots, we sang happy birthday and blew out the candles on the cupcakes and of course opened presents. Zane got spoiled of course. Zane's favorite was his Lego Indiana Jones game, mine was the quilt that Grammie S made for him! He likes it but I'm sure he'll appreciate it more when he gets older. Grammie said he reacted about the way she expected him to!

Sunday morning we woke up to about 8 inches of snow and it was still falling!!! Seriously. Ugg. I'm so done with winter. But whatever. I don't control the weather and we HAD to go to church because we were blessing Brock! So away we went into Red Deer - only did about 80 the whole way but we did make it. Mom and I went to get Brock dressed while everyone else got a seat. We had Cliff, Grandpa Dooley, Trevor Pratt, Warren Van Orman, Dave Robison, Steve Hall, and Collin Anderson stand in the circle and Cliff gave Brock an awesome blessing. And if you don't know he was officially blessed and named as Brock Dooley Johnson. We tried to get some good family pictures after Sacrament Meeting was over....We got the pictures but they just make me laugh because Rhett was in a very uncooperative mood. He wanted to go to nursery and wanted nothing to do with sitting nice and smiling. Oh well. At least we were all together!

Mom and Dad J and the girls left right away to combat the weather and Mom and Dad R stayed for a little while after church. I had choir so they took the kids home and Cliff stayed to drive me home...I was in no condition to drive - far too tired! Grandpa Dooley made Zane a birthday cake on Saturday and after we had eaten lunch on Sunday we lit candles again, sang again, and had oh so yummy chocolate cake with fudgy icing. Yumm Yumm Yumm.

What a good weekend!

Yesterday started out good. I shoveled out in front of our house where we park....Cliff almost got stuck leaving for work and I didn't want to get stuck when it was time to go get Zane from school. I called that my workout for the day and my oh my are my arms feeling it today! After shovelling my day went downhill because Brock was a fussy fussy baby all day. I think the poor kid cried more yesterday than he has since being home. I think it's because I ate 3 bowls of chili in 24 hours and from all the excitement and passing around of him over the weekend. He was hardly put down (which I expected and had NO problem with) so yesterday he just wanted to be held all day. I accomplished getting the laundry washed and supper made. That's it. But he did sleep really well last night - I was only up once! And today has been a good day.

Enjoy the pictures...I've only been trying since Sunday to get this post completed!

Oh Yummy Mummy....

Some of you may know my very talented friend Tisha Gilbert. She is amazing and has designed her own line of baby and mommy essentials. Everything is SO cute and comfy and cozy. I LOVE it. You can go here or here to check it out. I have a Mei Tai which Brock and I ADORE! and I get compliments on it everywhere I wear it. And I get my Kelly bag tomorrow. Oh I'm so excited to get my knew bag. So if you haven't already you should check out her site. She's sure to have something for you or someone you know!

Why not....

Fifty Questions.
1. Do you like blue cheese? I've never tried it. I think there are some things that shouldn't be blue.

2. Have you ever smoked a cigarette? Nope. Never been tempted to and the smell makes me sick.

3. Do you own a gun? No. The few times I attempted to shoot a gopher were fun but I have horrible aim.

4. What flavor do you add to your drink at Sonic? Never been to Sonic but I'm partial to berry flavorings...

5. Do you get nervous before doctor appointments? Routine ones no. Surgery - yes and the first couple of baby ones yes but only because of the complications we've had.

6. What do you think of hot dogs? Yum. Especially with cheese, ketchup and mustard.

7. Favorite Christmas Song? how about CD? LOVE the Forgotten Carols. It was the only Christmas music the kids and I listened to in the van this past year!

8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning? Water. Sometimes orange juice - the real kind with lots of pulp.

9. Can you do push-ups? I'm not sure if I can anymore.

10. What is your favorite movie? I don't think I have one.

11. What’s your favorite piece of jewelry? My wedding ring and my sleeper hoops. I never remember to put earrings in so I love having my hoops.

12. Favorite hobby? Quilting. Blogging. Spending some time alone!

13. Do you work with people who idolize you? Nope.

14. Do you have ADD? Probably. Ask Cliff.

15. What's one trait that you hate about yourself? Being passive.

16. What’s your middle name? Lynn

17. Name three thoughts at this moment: When is Brock going to wake up. Do I have enough time to finish this and get supper started before he wants to eat. Maybe he should sleep in his swing tonight.

18. Name 3 things you bought yesterday: Vinegar and chocolate chips and Cliff bought part of Zane's birthday present.

19. Current worry right now? Having everything ready for this weekend.

21. Current hate right now? Extreme sleep deprivation

22. Favorite place to be? With my family.

23. How did you bring in the New Year? Cliff me and mom did something....and we made it to midnight.

24. Where would you like to go? Somewhere with no snow and I'm looking forward to a few days in southern Alberta at the beginning of April.

25. Name three people who will complete this? I hate these types of questions. I guess whoever has the time.

26. Whose answer do you want to read the most? Again, lameo question.

27. What color shirt are you wearing? Black.

28. Do you like sleeping on satin sheets? Never done it but don't think I'd like it. I prefer the t-shirt ones.

29. Can you whistle? A little.

30. Favorite color? Red. Brown. Lots of blues.

31. Would you be a pirate? Nope.

32. What songs do you sing in the shower? I think in the shower.

33. Favorite girl’s name? Aubrey

34. Favorite boy’s name? Zane, Rhett and Brock. I LOVED the name Quaid but Cliff wouldn't go for it. I also really like Jack.

35. What’s in your pocket right now? No pockets. Wearing sweats.

36. Last thing that made you laugh? Brock.

37. Best bed sheets as a child? No idea

38. Worst injury you’ve ever had? Bat to the head. 3 stitches and still have the scar.

39. What is your favorite snack? depends on the day. Toast is good, yogurt, chocolate....

40. Favorite thing to do on Sundays? Have a nap and enjoy time as a family.

41. Who is your loudest friend? Jennie...it's one of my favorite things about her!

42. How many dogs do you have? No dogs here.

43. Does someone have a crush on you? well Cliff still loves me after almost 8 years of marriage...does that count?

45. What is your favorite book? Usually whatever one I've just finished. I'm actually working my way through a bunch of Ensigns right now.

46. What is your favorite candy? Most things chocolate and Mike and Ikes.

47. What is your favorite sports team? Don't have one. Cliff's is the Canucks.

48. What song do you want played at your funeral? Who thinks of these things?

49. What were you doing 12 AM last night? Going to bed or getting up with Brock for the first time...I can't remember!

50. What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up this morning? Please don't wake up for awhile yet Brock....

Did anyone else realize that #20 and #44 are missing? They weren't there when I copied it. Oh well.
Lists are always fun to do - fun to read others and to look back at the answers you wrote.

A few other things I'm thinking about today...
My dad sent me an email awhile ago. It was a story about a little boy who makes a cub car by himself with mom's supervision because dad isn't interested. He goes to the rally and ends up in the final race against the best looking car there. You know that the kid didn't do much and the other dad pretty much did everything and that this other car is going to waste his wobbly, homely little car. The boy asks for a minute to pray and after his prayer starts the race with a smile. His car wins and he loudly proclaims Thank You! Of course everyone assumes that he prayed to win. But when questioned about it he says something to this effect : "Oh I wouldn't ever pray for someone else to fail so that I could win. I prayed to have the strength not to cry when the other car beat mine." I've thought about this a lot over the past couple of weeks because I think I often pray for the Lord to change something or someone to suite my purposes instead of praying that the Lord will give me strength to face whatever it is I'm facing. This morning I prayed for strength in body and mind to cope with the sleep deprivation. (Brock has slept horribly the past couple of nights) I told the Lord my situation and that I couldn't be the mom that I needed to be in my current state so either I needed my body and mind to work at a higher level or Brock needed to start sleeping at night. I've had a very productive day and know that the Lord has answered my prayer. I hope to remember to pray for strength and not solutions that change the Lord's plan for me.
I've also been thinking about a primary song that Zane is learning. It's not in the Children's song book and is called The Family is of God. The chorus is my favorite and goes like this:

God gave us families to help us become what He wants us to be
This is how He shares His love
For the family is of God.

Zane told me that this song makes him feel Jesus in his heart. What can say it better than that?

And I'm thinking about our temple recommend interviews last night. We went to have the stake sign them and met with a member of the presidency that we didn't know. Our presidency has only been in for a few months and President Moore lives in Rocky Mountain House - 45 minutes west of here. Anyways, I went first and after answering all the questions President Moore told me that I have a wonderful countenance about me and that he really enjoyed asking me these questions...this struck me because it was the same thing my bishop said when I met with him. Now I'm not trying to brag or make myself sound better or anything like that. The reason I mention it here and why I've been thinking about it is because it makes me think about my countenance and what other people see there. I don't see anything remarkable when I look in the mirror. In fact right now I see someone who is very tired but trying to do her best and be the best mom she can be. I see a woman who is desperate to start exercising again but can't make herself give up any of the precious little sleep she is getting. I see a woman who eats A LOT of chocolate lately because she's an emotional eater. But those are my concerns and my flaws that I see. It is nice to know that others are seeing something different when they see me. Cliff told me that President Moore said a lot of nice things about me to Cliff as well...I'm not writing them here because I feel like I'm bragging about something that I didn't really do. It also encouraged me because it made me think that some of the small things that I'm doing in my life are affecting me and people around me without me knowing it. It's a nice thought.

Brock at 1 month...well really 5 weeks but who's counting?

So I really meant to do this post last Sunday....and now it's Sunday again! How did that happen? Oh well, not too much has changed in a week.

Brock is now 5 weeks old and last Monday weighed in at 9lbs 7oz!

His hands and thighs are starting to chunk up.

His eyes look like they are going to be my blue.

Wakes us from a nap hungry and cries. If I'm not there in a couple of minutes he goes back to sleep for 10 minutes and then wakes up again.

He mostly nurses but also takes a bottle.

Doesn't have a problem taking a bottle from me.

Likes to be swaddled up to go to sleep.

Has definite cries for hungry and for tired.

Is awake and alert a lot more now.

Is discovering his hands - mostly when they accidentally hit something else.

Has the cutest 'confused' look I've ever seen. It cracks me up!

Has a smile that lights up his whole face. Just waiting for him to do it on purpose!

Can be a little fussy in the evenings but nothing horrible. Usually just wants to be held.

Is usually in bed between 10:30 and 11:00 and starts off the night sleeping 4 hours. Then eats and goes back to bed for another 3.

Has one long nap in the morning, one long nap in the afternoon and goes between various stages of alert and out of it in between those.

Takes 45 minutes to nurse, get bum changed and nurse on the other side. Downs a 4 oz bottle in about 15 minutes.

Loves to cuddle.

Loves his Mei Tai.

Sucks on his soother but is not terribly attached to it.

Is an easy baby so far.

Other happenings in our family....Zane is almost over his latest cold and Rhett is in the middle of one. Brock has been stuffy but seems to be fine today so hopefully he won't get the cough his brothers have had/have.

We got rid of the ugly recliner/rocking chair that we've had for almost 6 years. It was unanimously the favorite of the men in this family but was also just disgusting. Six years of constant every day use and not leather. Do I need to say more? So how do you ask did I finally convince Cliff to get rid of it? I have to admit that mom pointed out the obvious to me. Seeing how it is the chair that all 3 of them hang out it - whether they are healthy or not - it was just crawling with germs. And Cliff, Zane and Rhett just keep getting sick. I don't ever sit in the chair and I'm not getting sick. So, I presented this idea to Cliff in my best wifely ways, expecting that I was going to have to sell this idea a couple of times to get my way, but Cliff surprised me and got rid of the chair Friday morning. I'm so spoiled - my hubby almost always gives me my way. We traumatized Rhett a little in the process as he was sitting in it when Cliff came to get it. "my chair, my chair" was his cry as Cliff hauled it out the door. But he's adjusting well. We do intend to replace it - but with leather this time!

We had a really great day together as a family on Friday just sitting at home and hanging out. Cliff was a great hubby and cooked a bunch of bacon that I needed for a recipe for Saturday and Brock and I hung out in bed because the living room was too cold with all the windows open and fans going. Then he got rid of the chair and all the other stuff that piled up on the porch when it was too cold to go out, we watched movies with the kids, Allreds came over and he played in the snow with all the kids....it was just a nice, relaxing day for all of us. It's so nice to have someone else around to hand Brock to when he's hungry and I need to get supper ready!

Zane and Rhett go from one extreme to the other lately - playing great to screaming at each other. I guess that's normal. And oh my oh my the play fighting/wrestling has started in earnest. Rhett is now 43 lbs and Zane is 59 and only has about 8 inches on Rhett so he's not afraid of hurting him anymore. Results are big brother pushing and pulling back where he used to just walk away. Thankfully they're very mindful of where Brock is and haven't rolled over him....yet.

Zane FINALLY got to see the pediatric dentist and was a pro. He drank back the sedation medicine and did everything that they asked him to. The only time he got upset was when I had to leave for the x-rays and at the end his tummy got a little upset and he threw up. Other than that he did great. He didn't like the freezing coming out but definitely milked the whole soft foods diet for as long as he could. He was supposed to get 2 molars capped and ended up getting 6! Yikes. But he's done and hopefully he won't need to go back. He is now eagerly looking forward to his birthday next Sunday and all the friends and family that will be involved in that!

And we are finally being social again. I went to the RS March 17 dinner on Thursday and took Brock with me. He was a hit (of course) and it felt so good to sit with everyone and get all caught up again. I couldn't believe how much I missed! Last night we went over to Allred's for a potluck, games and guitar hero. It was so much fun! We're so lucky to have such great friends! And today all 5 of us went to church! And made it there in time to get a bench instead of the chairs. I was impressed. Poor Rhett coughed once before we left and by the time we got to church he was hacking pretty good. I felt bad but Cliff and I both had commitments that had to be done after sacrament so we stayed.

This week we're gearing up for our families to visit for Zane's birthday and Brock's blessing on Sunday. We've invited those who are going to stand in the circle and have planned the dinner the night before...now I just need a clean house, the food, and about 20 hours to finish a quilt. I'm thinking the quilt isn't going to get done but I'm going to try my best. It's for Kristie's birthday/graduation. But I'll get done as much as I can.

I'm sure as soon as I hit the publish button I'm going to think of something else that I wanted to write here. sigh. I miss my brain.

I Know....

I read about this idea in the Time Out For Women newsletter that I get every month. You take 15 minutes to write down "I Know" statements that pertain to you. The only catch is that you have to KNOW that each statement is true. I've been wanting to do it for awhile now so here goes!

I know that being a mom is the hardest thing I've ever done but also the most rewarding thing I've ever done.
I know that my sons were chosen to be here on earth at this time for a very specific purpose.
I know that I love my husband more today than the day I married him.
I know that I am the one and only in my hubby's world.
I know that the Lord has blessed me with wonderful friends to fill the gap of being far from family.
I know that prayers are answered.
I know that not all prayers are answered right away.
I know that I belong to the the true and living church of Jesus Christ - The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.
I know that life can be hard.
I know that life is a test.
I know that I will not be perfect in this life and that's OK.
I know that I MUST try my hardest to become perfect in this life.
I know that the atonement is real, that my Savior, Jesus Christ, died on the cross for me and was resurrected so that we might all live again.
I know that we will live again after this life.
I know that we can be eternal families.
I know that raising faithful children in today's world is challenging but necessary.
I know that I cannot leave teaching gospel principals to my children to other people. It has to happen in my home.
I know that I am supposed to stay home and nurture my children. Cliff is supposed to provide for us. This isn't always easy.
I know that paying tithing brings blessings.
I know that we all have different challenges.
I know that we all have different talents.
I know that we are all children of our Heavenly Father and that He loves us.
I know that I am the center of my children's world right now and that it will change one day.
I know that raising boys is a lot different than raising girls.
I know that days, weeks, months and years go by faster the older you get.
I know that my age changes every year but I don't feel any older!
I know that I have learned, grown, and changed a lot from the 20 year old girl that married Cliff almost 8 years ago.
I know that I have TONS to still learn.
I know that I love quilting.
I know that I have a talent in music and usually enjoy sharing it.
I know that losing weight is an ongoing, never ending battle for me.
I know that without medical technology two of my sons wouldn't be here today and I probably wouldn't either. That is a miracle.
I know that we are all given trials that we can bear.
I know that I love spring and fall. Summer's a close second and I tolerate winter.
I know that I would hate living farther away from our families but would go with Cliff anywhere he felt our family should be.
I know that being a first time soccer mom is going to be a learning experience!
I know that a smile, kiss, hug or I love you is the best present a child can give you.
I know that life is not always fair.
I know that the Lord has a plan for us all and that I need to trust His time line rather than imposing my own on Him. I know this but don't always remember it!
I know the first 6 weeks with a baby are the hardest and some of the sweetest you'll ever spend.

I know that Joseph Smith was a prophet of the Lord and restored the true church to the earth.
I know that the Book of Mormon is true and was written for us in this day and age.
I know being sealed to Cliff in the Temple is one of the best decisions in my life.

I think my 15 minutes is up. That was really refreshing and fun to do!

Flying Solo

I have been on my own for a whole week now with the three munchkins. Mom actually left us Sunday afternoon to go home and surprise dad and Cliff had Stake Priesthood meeting Sunday night so I got to do bedtime with all 3 all by myself. Luckily newborns sleep a lot!

We're slowly settling into a semblance of a routine. It all revolves around when Brock is going to eat. Sometimes he goes 3 hours or a little longer and sometimes he barely makes it an hour and a half! Rhett is slowly coming around to the idea that daddy can help him out with things when mom is feeding Brock and has also figured out to ask me for juice right before I start nursing... as in almost ready to latch Brock on. Oh well. At least he's asking BEFORE we officially get started.

It's been a little bit of a crazy week. Cliff's been gone Sunday, Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday nights. So I've definitely gotten used to the whole bed time routine again! Rhett is sleeping much better than last week but I still find myself bouncing between my bed, Brock's rocking chair, Rhett's bed and back to my own bed again. There was one night this week that I spent more time out of my bed than in it!

4:00-6:00 is our most challenging time of the day. Rhett is struggling to stay awake and is usually quite grouchy, I'm trying to time supper around Brock's eating, and if he's not eating he wants to be held usually during this time. I'm not sure how I'm going to swing piano lessons yet as I usually teach from 4:00 to 5:30 or 6:00 twice a week. It's going to be interesting when we start up again!

I'm definitely sleep deprived but trying to deal with it as positively as possible. I'm a lot more relaxed this time on what I expect of myself. It's a lot less stressful only having my home to take care of and not my home AND the apartment building like I did when we had Rhett. I basically try to do one big house chore a day that's not getting meals, changing bums, feeding a little one and general clean up stuff. So far, so good. But like I said earlier, Brock sleeps a lot!

I've also managed to get in a nap about every other day. That helps a lot.

The munchkin is fussing so I'll sign off for now. Can't believe that he's already 3 weeks old!