Pictures, Father's Day and Cathing up

I know it's been awhile. And I have been doing things. But mostly I just didn't feel like I really had anything to write down. So we'll add some pictures and start to ramble and I'll probably get to the end of this post and realize that I really did have something to say!

This is the quilt I made for Lara's baby boy Burke. I went to her shower Thursday night and had so much fun. Everyone loved the quilt and I owe it all to Whitney's fabulous tutorial! Thanks Whit!

I took the kids and went to the Innisfail Parade on Saturday morning with Dave, Leslie and the kids. We met Leslie's mom there and it was great! It rained all the way to Innisfail and all the way back to Red Deer but it didn't rain on the parade! The kids had a blast running after candy, waving to everyone and enjoying the free for all we gave them on what they ate. Zane decided to eat a piece of salt water taffy and pulled out one of his fillings. ( I don't usually let him eat that stuff just for that reason but didn't notice what he chose out of his bag) Hopefully we'll be able to get into the pediatric dentist sooner than later to get it fixed! After the parade I took the kids back to Red Deer and picked up lunch at Wendy's, which is something Zane has been wanting to do for quite a while. Rhett fell asleep on the way home and Zane and I were able to have some fun time together. We played a game, did some mazes in his maze book and wrapped Cliff's Father's Day present. After Rhett woke up they decided to do some more decorating of the wrapping...

And they couldn't wait for Cliff to open it so we all got to enjoy Daddy's father's day gift a day early....

Rhett has the tail end of his croupy cough and Zane's only on day 2 of it so we stayed home from church. Too many kids in our ward to go out in public with that kind of stuff. The Robison family came over for supper and some fun and we let all the kids take a turn at the drums with Cliff helping...it was so much fun to watch all of their different reactions and expressions. We are so blessed to have such great friends to share good times with.

With today being Father's Day I would like to thank my husband for being the wonderful man that he is. He is so proud of his boys and is such a great daddy with them. I count my blessings every day that he is ours and know that he will do a wonderful job of showing them how to be a righteous man, a worthy priesthood holder and some day a wonderful husband and dad themselves. I love you hun! Hope you had a good day! And of course I am so grateful for my own dad and for Cliff's dad. Both continue to be great supports to us and wonderful examples to their grandsons. My children are truly blessed to have these great men in their lives.

Life is good, the sun is shining at the moment, and I am loved. What more could I ask for?

Kidnapped....

Can you be a willing participant in a kidnapping? Because that's what happened to me and why I dropped off the face of the earth again. Let's back up....Dad had an Edmonton run a week ago Thursday and dropped mom off for the night. He was supposed to pick her up the next morning on his way back to Lethbridge but he, mom and Cliff all agreed that the boys and I should pack up and head home with mom for the week. So, they twisted my rubber arm and off we left for the wonderful world of quilting where I completely ignore the fact that there is a computer with internet and just quilt and play at parks and see old friends and hang out with my sisters and my mom and possibly spend too much money on very fun material. See, doesn't that sound like so much fun? I know you are all jealous and would love to be me. Sorry!

But seriously, we had a fantastic time. My mom and I quilted late almost every night I was there (and I finished Lara's baby quilt which turned out soooo cute!) I'll post pictures after her shower. I came home with lots of fun material - some that I took with me, some that my mom gifted me, and some that I bought. Also borrowed some quilt books from my mom and can't wait to finish the 2 quilts that I have on the go so that I can get busy on new ones. Oh, and I forgot that Tisha gifted me a ton of fabulously cute scraps. Seriously, if you're a quilter you should drop by my place so we can ooo and ahhh together.

AND we were totally spoiled and got to see lots and lots of Grandpa Dooley. Usually it works out that he has really long runs when we're around but this time was great. Zane even got to go with Grandpa on a short run. If you've already heard this story just skip this part but it makes me giggle every time so I want it recorded for when my memory is gone! Grandpa and Zane had to leave by 6:00 am and when Grammie woke him up he wasn't very coherent and fairly grumbly until she asked if he was going with Grandpa. Then he was wide awake and out of bed real fast. Got dressed without a grumble and they were out the door. Of course Grandpa had to stop for Tim Bits before they got to the big truck...and he bought a 20 pack. By the time they had the big truck unloaded Zane had eaten...wait for it....15! Yep, that's right. He said that it gave him a little bit of a tummy ache so hopefully he's learned his lesson. My dad has a GPS unit in the the truck and when they were on the road it said " At the end of the road turn right". Zane immediately asked "Grandpa, who said that?" Dad pointed and told him the GPS unit had. "no grandpa, who said that?" Again dad pointed and told him that had. "No, Grandpa (very slowly and with emphasis - he does this when he thinks we haven't understood what he's asked) Who said that?"
This time Grandpa told him that the GPS was a small computer and that it tells him where to go. "oh" He totally understood that concept and watched the screen all the way to Taber and back to Coaldale (it has a little marker representing the truck on the road) He was also very impressed that Grandpa's bunk had 2 beds although he told grandpa it would be better if there was a ladder and not just steps to the second bunk. All in all he had a great time.
I got to go out for yummy cheesecake with Lish and Kizzy and cousin Ash. We had lots of laughs and fun and of course the yummiest cheesecake in town. AND I got to meet the new man in Kizzy's life - Danny. Very nice guy and hope all goes well with them!
And now we're home. It was a great time...probably one of the last that we'll have that will be that length...mom has a new part time job at a lawyers in Raymond and Zane will be starting kindergarten in the fall. So we definitely made the most of the time we had!

Some things are wonderful....

Thursday afternoon Rhett was having a nap, I was doing laundry and other chores around the house and Zane was having quiet time with a movie....or so I thought. The conversation started like this: Mommy I'm sorry. Sorry for what? For this - as he holds his hands out that are COVERED in gum. He was trying to make spider webs like spider man with the gum that he had been chewing. I didn't know whether I should laugh or cry. I know how to get gum out of carpet and hair - ice or peanut butter...but what's the best way to get it off a kids hands? It took me almost 20 minutes of lukewarm water and soap and rubbing and pulling gum off his hands to get it all off. He complained a couple of times but I told him when we started it wasn't going to be fun and it was consequences for what he had done. The little yahoo! I told him he doesn't get gum again until I decide he can have it.

But then there are nights like tonight when he wraps his arms around my neck and pulls me down for a hug and whispers in my ear " I love you 50, 50, 50, 50, 50, 50, 50, 100" and the spirit whispers to me that this is a moment to lock away in my memory and hold tight to because he's going to be big and grown before I know it and won't be so willing to show his affection. Being a mom is wonderful!

So much fun!

I know Leslie has already blogged about this so if you read her blog and mine...sorry. Leslie, Alisha and I went to the stake's annual piggy bank sale this past Saturday. Basically people in the stake and community at large donate anything from clothes to furniture to electronics...basically anything that is still in good repair but they don't have any use for anymore...and then it's like a big rummage sale at the church. Everything is priced at 10 cents...yep...you read write....10 cents! Ahh the pure bliss of going without our kids and finding some great things. My intention was to look for fun patterns in shirts and stuff that I could cut up for quilts....(great idea from my mom!) I spent $4.30 and came home with some great stuff. I promised mom that I would take pictures of all my material...I'll try to get them in on this post. Us girls also went to Earl's for lunch....a full meal of girl talk. Oh it was bliss. Thanks gal 'cause it was so fun!

(the basket is full of jenas and khakis that I'm going to use for a denim quilt and the rest is all fun stuff for quilts.)

What other fun things have I been up to? Yesterday we hung out in the morning while Cliff and some friends went golfing and in the afternoon we headed in to Red Deer to Rick and Kala Striebel's house for some softball and potluck supper. It was lots of fun....there was probably about 30 of us...kids and adults....and after a fun game we headed for the backyard for food and conversation. They have a trampoline that all the kids were nuts about. House rules were one kid at a time so there was always a line up. Our kids were almost the youngest there and when the night was almost over Zane came over to where I was in tears claiming that the big kids weren't giving him a turn. I asked if he was in line and he tearfully proclaimed that he was in his own line! Poor kid. Daddy took him over and got him in the right line and all was good. Kala is a maternity nurse and gave me lots of good info....of course it's still hypothetical and at least 3 years away before I would do anything....but its definitely an idea. We got home, got the kids in bed and watched a bunch of season endings to some of favorite shows....I bawled my eyes out over one. I'm such a sap sometimes.
Today Cliff and I bought something that I have been wanting for a really really long time. New dining room furniture. Table and 4 chairs....Sims furniture let us buy some stuff out of the back of their warehouse (not sure if it's open to everyone or just because the wife of one of the sales guys at Trail is in sales there) Anyways, We have 2 chairs that are the same, one that is pretty similar and one that's not but I don't care because I think they're all great....and very heavy! So one of the best parts of it is the price tag. I added up the total RETAIL with GST = $1595....should I tell you what we paid? You better sit down because I just about fell over when I realized the difference....we paid $215. Yep....we saved more than $1300!!! And why were they such amazing prices? They have a few scratches, aren't perfectly balanced, or some other minor flaw. This might bother some people. It thrills me. Why you ask? Let's review the ages of my children....5 and 2....and we're trying for a third. Kids are hard on furniture. No getting around it. My new stuff isn't perfect and that takes the stress off of me to keep it that way. Plus it lends a bit of character to it. Happy anniversary to us! I should add that the original plan was to buy chairs...no mention of a table but I saw it, fell in love with it and I'm spoiled. There's really no other way to say it. Cliff absolutely spoils me.

Better late than never....right?

So everyone will have to forgive me....I kinda didn't get around to posting before leaving for Raymond last week (and to those in Southern Alberta that I didn't call....that's everyone....sorry. We were so stinkin' busy with our quilts. ) Anyways, I do have a good excuse for not posting....a girl that I visit teach went into labor Monday morning and as she is a single mom she had asked if I would be in the hospital with her and her dula. Very interesting....I was terrified when I told her yes (months ago) and had really been hoping she would have her baby when I wasn't around. However, I found that I have a talent I didn't know about and loved being there. So much so that I'm even considering going back to school for nursing in the future. I'd want to be on maternity.....something to think about!

The 4th was Rhett's birthday and it was a fun day. The Robison's came for a supper of scones (Rhett eats crackers, cheese, peanut butter, apples, snacky stuff and anything with syrup!) Since we eat scones with syrup or honey I thought it was something all would enjoy and Rhett would actually eat his birthday supper. He loved the cake I made for him and I was quite happy with how it turned out myself. We got him a trike which he loves and tried out the night before his birthday, Zane got him golf clubs and a bat and ball, and Robison's brought him stickers which are one of his favorite church activities. The kids played hard, we put them all to bed here and then the grown ups played! It was a fun day. I'm really glad that I posted about all the fun 2 year old stuff that he is doing a couple of days before his birthday or I would feel like a really crummy mom! And I made it through the day without tears! I'm just so blessed that he is the happy busy toddler he is when he had a little bit of a rough start. Doctors and nurses don't get the thanks and credit that they deserve!

Tuesday (the 6th) the kids and I headed for Raymond so Zane could go see auntie Kizzy and her dentist on Wednesday and Thursday. The poor kid has a bad cavity on his back molar that the pedatrician dentist put sealants on a year ago...don't get me started on that. Still rather ticked off about it. Anyways, he did great while auntie cleaned his teeth and doc Goth looked at this teeth on Wednesday but freaked out a little on Thursday when we tried to get him frozen. He ended up with 1/2 the freezing he needed so we couldn't get the cavity fixed. Doc Goth has referred us to a peds dentist in Lethbridge because they book fairly soon and are supposed to be cheaper (we have great dental plan but peds dentists and sedation is not well covered. ) Sigh. Why do you ask do we just not take him to the one here in Red Deer. Well....I'm not really a huge fan of the dentist, his work, his prices, oh and his booking times are 6 months in advance. Arg. We'll keep you posted on this. As for me and grammie....we quilted and quilted and quilted and Auntie Kizzy joined us for a couple of nights as well. One night got cut short because Zane had a really bad tummy ache but we got lots done. Sooooo fun and thanks again mom for all the new material. Can't wait to get it all used! Friday night we had a party for Rhett with mom and the aunties - poor Grandpa Dooley gets sent to timbuktoo every time we're in town and didn't get home until late Friday night. Saturday they were off to the temple and we were off to Barnwell to play with the other grandma and grandpa and aunties and of course uncle Jamie. The spoilage continued and we came home with a wonderful sandbox which my boys LOVE. Grandpa Dooley has plans to build them one in Raymond and I would highly recommend to any mom....

We surprised Cliff by coming home really late Saturday night...instead of Sunday evening as planned...I have an interesting story about that one but it involves some spiritual stuff that I don't want to post here....kind of using a "blog face" as Shauna would say but there are some things that I think are just to sacred to have published on the Internet. So, to solve this dilemma I"m going to write them in word and print and put them with my hard copy of these blogs. That way my kids and future family can know of the spiritual experiences that I've been having...I have a lot I want to write on that but I think that's good for now. So, back to surprising Cliff...I called him after I got through Calgary because I realized that he probably wouldn't be home when I got home and I didn't want to unload the van by myself! I still beat him home by about 15 minutes but that's ok. Dad J said it was mean to surprise him like that because Cliff wouldn't have a chance to clean up the house...and he was right! But I already knew that it wouldn't be clean...he always does it the day I come home. Guys, what are you gonna do with them?

This week has been busy getting caught up on things, doing some yard work, playing in the yard, enjoying the beautiful weather, quilting, and hemming some shirts for Cliff. You know, the usual day to day things.

Sunday makes 7 years that Cliff and I have been married. Wow. It doesn't seem like that much time has gone by but then I go, well, we have a 5 year old...so really, yeah I guess it does seem like that long. Every year we switch whose turn it is to plan something to do and this year it was my turn. I picked going to the temple today to do initiatory and sealings. I did initiatory for the first time since I went through for myself, last week in Cardston and today was Cliff's first time since he went through for himself. I don't know why we've never done it before....maybe because it's not really something we're doing together where in the endowment session we're together? Anyways, same with sealings. We've never done sealings for anyone else. It was a really great day...I'm so blessed to be married to such a wonderful man. He works so hard to keep me at home with the boys and really spoils me. I'm so thankful that he is a worthy priesthood holder and that he uses it to bless our home and children. I love you hon! After the temple we went to the Olive Garden...soooo yummy. We ate way too much but it was so good. Thanks a million again Leslie for watching the boys all day. We really appreciate it! I'm going to add pictures now...not sure where they will end up....beginning, middle, or end of the post? Depends on how many I load and how much time I have. Enjoy and I'll try to make sure my blog doesn't go into such a drought again!

ok...so I've just added all the pics...some explanations...the picture of the quilt is roughly what my quilt looks like...I've added a square to make it 5 squares by 5 instead of 4 by 6... and that picture doesn't show the 2 borders that I'm going to add. I'll post another one when I get the borders and stuff on. Yes, Rhett had 3 birthday cakes. My kids are spoiled. No other way to say it. He loved opening presents....and the others are some pics from the last 2 years. My disk with his baby baby pics has gone MIA at the moment. Sigh. sorry for the jumble. Rhett is trying to help and I want to get this posted!

Rhett and W!

So Rhett will be 2 on Sunday...craziness. Seriously, how can it be 2 years already that Cliff kissed me and said you can have the baby after the big sale on Thursday....and what did I do? Called him at 9:03 Thursday morning and told him my water broke. The guys at work still don't let me live that down...every time a private sale comes around they all have to mention the fact that Cliff had such a great day number wise and wasn't even in the store because he was in the hospital with me!
So anyways, being the softie and general mommy suck that I am, I thought that maybe if I wrote some of the fun things my little man is doing these days a few days before he actually turns 2 I might get through this without crying. Don't know why 2 is such a hard birthday for me - just is.
Let's see....

Rhett's new favorite words: Hi you guys....Lightning McQueen....I got you....there he is....kitty....JUICE....hat (much emphasis on the T)....run....truck....shoes....my...mine....

Funny or Amusing things he's been doing recently(and of course I don't want to forget!):
The other night I was putting the kids to bed and in Zane's room singing to him when I heard a noise coming from Rhett's room....I stuck my head back in there and Rhett's all cuddled into bed doing the whole fake snoring thing...you know where you do the really loud snore in and the phew thing out? Yep...and then he sits up, grins at me, says "sleep" and lays back down and starts it all over again. I burst out laughing because it was just so cute. He now will randomly lay down anywhere in the house and start to "sleep". It cracks me up every time....what 2 year old does this? I posed this question to Leslie and she started to laugh because Tanner does the same thing....who taught them this?
My son has learned to jump....not just a little bit of a skip, but a whole 2 feet-off-the-ground jump and then he lets himself fall in this dramatic little heap complete with a very dramatic "ohhh" and then he gets up and does it all again. Of course he thinks this is just hilarious
Every car he sees is Lighting McQueen....or truck. Take your pick.
He does not like it when I put things in his pockets.
He is starting to sit on the potty for treats....but has yet to pee in it. But really...we're just trying to get the idea there for now.
Walks around with his blanket in his teeth...not sure what this one's all about but it makes him happy...that is until he trips on it!
Likes to "talk" to grammie on the phone...really he just grabs the phone, puts it on his shoulder and starts to natter. Poor grammie...she can hear him but he can't hear her...although the last couple of times he has put the phone up to his ear for a few fleeting seconds
Has discovered slides...and loves them. I'm to that beloved age where park going is great because I get to sit on the bench and watch instead of climbing all over the silly thing myself
We went for a walk tonight after supper (silly kid has been taking insanely long naps - 2 to 3 hours and didn't wake up until 5...why don't I wake him up do you ask? For the same reason you don't wake up a hibernating bear...I like all my limbs where they are thank you...dealing with him being up a little past bedtime is much preferable to the bear he is when woken..but back to my story!) So I decided we needed to burn some energy...usually our walks lately have consisted of Rhett in the stroller and Zane on his bike and we do about a 30 minute loop. Today I decided to see how Rhett did walking and he did the whole thing! It took a little longer but he did it. Now here's the part that cracked me up....there is a part of our loop that's about 3 blocks of pure sidewalk - no driveways, no new streets, just sidewalk, and it's slightly down hill. Zane loves it because he can go really fast - so he takes off and me and Rhett start after him. Rhett decides to hurry a little and starts to run...about 3/4 of the way I asked him if he wanted to walk because I could hear him starting to pant a little...but he said "no...pant, pant...run...pant, pant" so I kept up and prayed the whole way that neither one of them would biff it because I didn't have band aids and didn't want to pack Rhett home or try to convince Zane to get back on his bike. Luckily we all made it!
On the same walk we encounter big circle compasses set into a great path close to our house. They are labelled with an N, E, S, and W. As we got to the first one, Rhett said clear as a bell "W" and pointed to the ground. I thought, nah, it's just a fluke. We came to the next one and he did it again...and I thought, really? So the next one I asked him "Rhett, where's the W? " And the little stink went and stood on it! Seriously? My 2 year old can say and recognize W? It just makes me giggle because most kids i know learn A first or the letter that starts their name...W just seems so random and I've never heard him say it before either so it just makes it that much funnier to me. But then when my little guy is in a good mood everything he does is fun and funnier.
He loves to wake up daddy in the morning...his idea of this is to crawl up on bed, pounce on Daddy (who usually knows he's coming) and then make a speedy retreat to avoid tickling....some days he makes it, some days he doesn't.
He LOVES Zane. Wants to be Zane and do everything that Zane does. Will do anything for Zane (as long as in a good mood) Thinks that he has died and gone to heaven when Zane plays with him (which is really most of the time). Two boys together really is great.
Is still a mama suck. Sigh. One day I'll make it back to Relief Society....and not nursery...one day
Loves peanut butter and usually eats it 3 times a day...on a bun or on graham crackers...eats most of the peanut butter by sliding his finger through it and then licking it off... crazy kid!
Has refused to drink milk for over a month....not sure what's up with that or if I should really push it? Opinions from you wonderful pediatric nurses?
Knows how to drive his brother crazy...his favorite lately is to "play" the piano while Zane is watching a movie. Drives Zane nuts and Rhett pretends to be deaf to his pleas to stop. I'm torn on these days because I don't want to tell him not to play the piano....but he is annoying his brother. I try to 50-50 it.
Loves to watch sports with Cliff...his attention span is still short but he totally gets that it's all about the ball. The other day they were watching golf (yes, you may roll your eyes) and he watched the guy hit the ball and then looked at Cliff and asked "where's the ball...where'd it go?" And then when they cut to the ball landing on the green he shrieked "there it is!" and cheered when the guy putted it in....we're talking arms in the air and cheer loud enough for me to hear down at the other end of the house. I thought Cliff was going to pee his pants from laughing.
Would live outside...but doesn't always want to stay in the yard...hmmm, may need to put the gate back up even though it's broken. Note to self to think about that one.
Any bump, fall or slight nudge of anything needs an immediate kiss and then it's fine. Even the big bumps that cause real tears get a kiss and then he's done and goes on with what he was doing even though he's still crying.
He knows which shoes belong to who in our family and as soon as it is announced that we are "going" he makes sure that everyone has a pair....even if he has to try a few times to get the appropriate one...(tried to give me heals the other day to go to preschool...just not my style!)

I love this little boy sooooo much. He is so different from Zane and it's a constant adventure with him around. I never know what he's going to do next and not being able to distract him drives me crazy but I wouldn't trade him for the world. Of course I'll do his "official" 2 year old post in a few days but maybe this will keep the chuckles going until then instead of the tears!

I think I'm ready...

Well I think I am finally ready to write my blog that has been rolling around in my head for awhile...but maybe I'll get to the end and realize that I didn't really need to write it or that it is completely different from what I had written in my head. I guess we'll see!

So to start at the beginning I have a confession to make: I have been eating way too much and exercising way too little...the result is gaining 10 lbs since the beginning of February. Yep, 10 lbs in just under 3 months. Yuck. My clothes tell me, my scale tells me and as I have watched the numbers creep up I have continued to put off doing the things I should be doing instead of getting motivated and stopping the bad cycle. Now, here is where I need to interject that the next part of this is not written for compliment fishing. And it also very hard for me to put into writing because it is brutally honest and I don't really like how it makes me look as a person. But I keep reminding myself that this is really my journal and that these things and my life will be important to my family one day. So, big breath...When I started losing the weight back in June I did it because I was tired of looking fat, feeling fat, and being fat. I wanted to be skinny. I wanted to be able to wear "normal" clothes, feel good in them and be proud of what I looked like. I didn't want my kids to grow up with a fat mom. The better health, more energy, yada yada yada were all great too, but really I just wanted to be skinny...for once. I started out really great, and the program I chose for myself worked really well for me. I had to tweak it here and there and I definitely wasn't perfect at it...but by Christmas I had hit my 60 lb mark. Wow.....and all along the way wonderful people who love me and people who like me and some who just haven't seen me for a while would comment on how good I looked. (thanks if you were one of them) and I ate it up and somewhere along the way I got caught up in the "high" if you will of being noticed for a positive change...and one that admittedly was dramatic. Now, I"m not saying that I didn't deserve those compliments, I worked really really hard to get there....the problem has come in that since I've been maintaining I don't get that constant positive feedback from others in my life...and here's the kicker and what I've really realized and what's really hard to type. Yes, I'm prolonging it...OK, I'm going to type it quick like you pull a band aid off : I have realized that I don't love myself enough. Enough for what you ask....enough to keep myself from self sabotaging my efforts of the last months. Do you remember what I wrote at the beginning? I've put on 10 lbs in the last 3 months. I've been giving lip service to exercise while eating anything that I wanted. I know better than this and it was driving me nuts!! I mean, what am I doing? I'm throwing it all away. All my work, my effort, and my wonderful new wardrobe! Yes, there are some things health wise that contributed...but I'm not giving myself that excuse. Really I dropped the ball because when I look in the mirror I don't see someone who I totally love. Oh, I really like me most days, but as I've been thinking about this, and praying about this, and meditating about this (for quite awhile now) the answer came to me. I need to love myself enough to make the sacrifice of food and time for exercise worth it. I need to love me and do it only for me and not for the feel good strokes I get from people (although those are always appreciated!).

I've also been experiencing "Divine Discontent"....Emily Watts talked about it in her "How to Survive your Greatest Blessings" talk - Neil A Maxwell actually coined the phrase. Anyways, the gist of it is that there are times in our life when we feel like we aren't good enough, and that's ok, because really we aren't. We are not good enough to make it back to our Heavenly Father without the help of our wonderful Savior, Jesus Christ. Spiritual disconcern helps us become aware of things in our lives that we need to change to get one step closer in our eternal progression. And so as I have been mulling this all over and trying to come up with a plan I have made a few changes. I'm trying to increase my spirituality, I'm praying that my Heavenly Father will help me to love myself the way that He loves me, and I'm thanking him for every new day that I get to start over, fresh and ready to try again. Because I'd be hooped without 'do-over' days! So today I'm celebrating because I went for a fantastic, heart pumping and sunshine drinking walk before Cliff left for work. I know I was moving because the route I did I usually run in 35 minutes and I walked it in 45....(have to give running up for awhile because every time I do it seems to bug up my knee for a couple of days.) I've done good on eating so far, me and the kids are going for a great walk after Rhett's nap and we have an active FHE that we get to go to with a bunch of friends. I know that I am not going to wake up tomorrow and be 10 lbs lighter...I'll be lucky to be a few ounces lighter. But I'm not getting on my scale until next Monday, and I'm going to give it my best effort every day to love myself enough to make the good choices that I know I need to. See, it's not just about the weight anymore. I'm happier when I exercise, eat good and when I'm not worrying about what's going to fit me that day. And I'm definitely happier when I say my prayers, read my scriptures and try to have the spirit with me in my day. So, here's to do overs and start overs and whatever other overs you may need in your life!

Still working on it....

I am still around...I've been painting trim in my house because we're trying to get it ready to sell...it seems like we've been in this state forever but we're slowly getting the projects done. The massive dump of snow did not help as it caused one of our eaves troughs to fall off our house! And of course it couldn't be one of the small ones at the front or back...it had to be one of the ones that runs the entire length of our house. Leslie was dropping her kids off on Wednesday and we were chatting for a few minutes when all of a sudden it just dropped. We both just stood there looking at each other like "that did not just happened" it really was kinda funny the way it happened but adds one more thing to our list and the last blast of winter has set us back by about 2 weeks now...sigh. I keep reminding myself that our Heavenly Father controls the weather and knows we want to sell so maybe we're supposed to wait a couple of more weeks?
I have a really good post forming in my head...but I'm not quite ready to put it into words...I want it here recorded for me and my memory and hopefully for my kids and so forth, but it's one of those that makes sense in your head when you're thinking about it but not when you try to put it into words. So I"ll let you know when I get there.
We got a new Relief Society presidency today in church...I was surprised but now surprised and think the new presidency will be fantastic! But will miss the old one too.
Zane asked/told me something the other day that really just stunned me....and Leslie as well since I was talking to her on the phone at the time....I was doing something in the kitchen and Rhett was asleep, Zane was watching a movie when he walked in the kitchen, sat on a chair and said very matter of fact "mommy I know why our baby isn't in your tummy anymore....it's because Rhett kicked you too many times" (Rhett likes to kick a lot when he's getting his diaper changed and occasionally lands one) It felt to me like time froze for a few seconds. How do you explain to your 5 year old that his younger brother did not make you not have a baby in your tummy anymore and who knew that he was still pondering over this? Thank goodness Heavenly Father has given us the gift of the Holy Ghost because even though it felt like time had stopped I heard myself very calmly explaining to him that Rhett had not made the baby leave my tummy...that something went wrong and the baby wasn't growing correctly in my tummy and that was why we didn't have a baby anymore. I thought that was the end of it but he made another comment a few seconds later so I told him that mommy and daddy had gone to the temple and that Heavenly Father had the Holy Ghost whisper in mommy's head that we would have another baby. I told him when it was time Heavenly Father would put another baby in mommy's tummy...that seemed to appease him but oh my gosh! The things that are going through that boy's head scare me sometimes! He is 5!!!! I'm so thankful that he is young enough and innocent enough to tell me these things though...I hope that doesn't change as he gets older.
Hmmm...this is kind of a random post but I know it's been a while...I'm working on a quilt and it's calling my name right now...I'll post pictures soon. Thanks Whitney for the brilliant tutorial on the circle quilt. I'm loving how mine is turning out!

family time

As you can see we had a TON of fun on our vacation to Banff. We stayed at the Douglas Fir Resort and it was awesome for our young family. They really cater to families...there was a water park with 2 water slides, a kiddie pool, a huge hot tub, and a sauna. Another pool and hot tub in another area of the hotel, a huge indoor playground that was so fun and a great exercise room for me!

Our room had a full kitchen and a fireplace so we could eat when and what we wanted and Cliff made a fire every night...so nice! The first night we got there Rhett was so not impressed about getting his swimming suite on...and then he hated the baby pool. So I decided to haul him up the stairs to the top of one of the water slides and down we went. As soon as we hit the pool he was saying "Again...again..again.." He was hooked and begged to go up and down for the rest of the night. At least until Cliff went and got in the hot tub. Then he decided to chill with Daddy and stayed there for a good 15 minutes. He just liked to watch his hands float in the bubbles. Zane did awesome...he needed one of us to go with him the first couple of times, then decided he was brave enough to go it alone if we caught him and after a few more times usually would go down without anyone at the bottom. He had so much fun and counted the hours for the next 2 days until the water park opened at 4 pm. We tried out the indoor playground on Tuesday morning and had a blast. We weren't supposed to be on it with them but Rhett really couldn't get anywhere without help so we went for it...it was a workout in and of itself climbing and crawling and all that stuff but again so fun. Wednesday we did a little bit of shopping and after lunch we headed for the gondola ride up Sulphur Mountain. I was pretty nervous going up the mountain - had a running prayer that the cable would hold and that we wouldn't end up bouncing down the mountain in the gondola...very irrational I know...but I think it's a mom thing. I never would have thought like that before the boys. But once we got to the top it was gorgeous and worth the stress but FREEZING! The pictures of us holding Rhett as he is screaming is because he wanted to explore the snow at the edge of the mountain and we were cruel parents and wouldn't let him anywhere near the edge of the mountain. So unreasonable, I know, but we have to do something to keep us in the running for the meanest parents in the world award! Rhett was so cute on the ride up and down the mountain because he would watch the other side of the cable for the gondolas and every time he saw one it was "there it is" . Zane informed us before we started up the mountain that he was afraid of heights but the whole way up he was looking around and telling us how cool it was and that he wasn't scared. My little daredevil!

We had a wonderful time and will probably go back to the hotel again because it had so much for the kids to do that was included in our room price and we didn't have to leave the hotel to get there. So nice.
Yesterday Cliff and I went to the temple (thanks again Leslie for watching the boys) and had a wonderful time. We both got some answers and had wonderful spiritual experiences.

Today I'm hoping to get the rest of my painting finished up and possibly some furniture moved around!

Again...I Know

Yes, I know...I don't blog for days and now I'm here again writing away and you're probably sick of me. But for some reason I'm in the mood to write and since it's my blog and my thoughts....well you get the picture.

Rhett is almsot 2 and does not sleep through the night. I know that this is partly my fault....his latest thing is wanting to sleep with us. And I'll admit that for awhile I let him...until he started crawling into bed with us by 1:30 in the morning and tried to take over the entire bed. Just when I thought I was going to go beserk (yes, it's a word) and spent a night of pure Hell (yes, that's right - screaming for hours on end because I wouldn't let him in our bed) we hit upon a novel solution:

We put the boys in seperate rooms and put Rhett in the loft bed. We had originally planned on using our folded out futon as a bedframe so to speak and just put Rhett's mattress on top just temporarily....but Zane saw what I had done and HAD to have this bed. I quickly did a mental check on how this would figure in to my GET-RHETT-TO-SLEEP-IN-HIS-OWN-BED-AND-THROUGH-THE-NIGHT plan and decided it worked great. And here's why: The loft bed that Rhett now occupies is like a mini bunk bed without the bottom bunk and not quite all the height - great for storing toys under - and it has built in rail all the way around the mattress. Rhett CAN go up and down the ladder by himself but absolutely refuses to get out of this bed unless I am there. Light bulb moment! Rhett has spent the last 2 nights in his own bed...and we're working on the waking up thing. The first night he woke up every hour after midnight...and last night it was every 2 hours after 1:30...so I'm hoping tonight he keeps up the trend and lasts longer before waking up and then goes back to sleep for a longer period of time.

And hopefully the next time we have a child I will have figured out some things a little better and won't be as desperate for sleep as I was with Rhett. Yes, his bad habits stem from mostly me but I would like to defend myself and say that they all came from doing what I could do to gain the most sleep. I think in his entire lifetime my child has slept soundly through the night maybe 5 times...sleep deprivation makes you do funny things!

So judge me if you will, roll your eyes and swear up and down that your children will never be like mine, but if you could please say a prayer that he starts to sleep through the night because I think we have suffered long enough. And his daddy is in Brooks tonight at a basket ball tournament so I'm going this solo tonight.

As a side note we had soooo much fun at the park today. The weather was gorgeous, lots of fun kids to play with and a wonderful mom for me to chat to. We've never met before and ended up chatting for a good hour and a half today.

And some random pictures....I know I've been slacking on adding them. I meant to add some yesterday, I really did!

10 Things I Want to Remember About....

Zane:
1. His wonderful imagination...today they went to space and packed socks, some food, underwear, a movie in case they got bored and after some coaxing a picture of mom and dad
2. His fascination with spider man...he's always 'spinning webs', perfecting moves and fighting Venom
3. his love for preschool....he will do almost anything if the threat involves not going to preschool
4. his absolute stubbornness that has happened since turning 5 - infuriating but admirable in some cases
5. his protection of Rhett - when they play outside he assures me he'll make sure that Rhett stays in the yard
6. his random shows of affection -hugs, kisses, proclamations of love
7. his prayers - the other night he prayed and asked Jesus to protect the world and to protect him and Rhett from monsters even though they aren't real
8. his laugh
9. his excitement over riding his bike
10. his proclamation "today is a perfect day to go to the park" as soon as the sun peeks out of the clouds

Rhett:
1. his excitement over trucks and cars...runs around the house with toy trucks in his hands yelling truck, truck, 1,2 ...truck, truck
2. fun words and phrases: I'm stuck, I got you, I got you again, peekaboo, bye...love you, see you, night, night, (and many more)
3. how he folds his arms to pray
4. how he eats his peanut butter sandwiches...both hands in the peanut butter and lick it off the fingers...if he gets some bread in there too all the better
5. how cranky and cuddly he is when he wakes up from a nap
6. he still naps for an average of 2 hours a day...hallelujah!
7. he LOVES outside
8. tantrums he throws when it's time to take his coat/shoes/hat off
9. ask him if he wants to go outside and he's gone looking for his shoes, hat, coat and waiting at the door
10. anything Zane does he can do to....at least in his mind!

Our Family....
1. we are doing pretty good at FHE every Monday...short but sweet and we've just started the articles of faith
2. we read the picture scripture books at night and if we forget Zane is quick to remind us
3. we love to play board games...Rhett can be a little over zealous sometimes
4. we count sleeps until something fun like a trip or a visit to or from grandmas and grandpas
5. we love oatmeal chocolate chip cookies
6. we love ice cream
7. we are about to take our first family vacation that is not to a grandparent's house
8. we all enjoy going through show homes (the boys really surprised us on this one!)
9. we like to watch movies
10. we don't regret the choice for me to stay home with the boys

me:
1. I'm outnumbered by the boys...but I'm spoiled by the adoration
2. Zane tells me I'm the best chef (even though he only eats about 1/2 of what i cook)
3. I am more sleep deprived than I ever thought I could be
4. I have been blessed with some of the best friends that a girl could ever ask for
5. I love that I have music callings...I don't ever want anything else...maybe just one at a time instead of multiples!
6. I am so happy that I started this blog and have a record for my posterity - I print this off every couple of months and write as though I was penning a journal
7. I love to bake and cook
8. I want to attend the temple more often
9. I am proud of what I've accomplished so far weight wise and am looking forward to finishing off
10. I am looking forward to the privilege of being a mother again...whenever it is that the Lord blesses us with the opportunity

Cliff
1. spoils me rotten
2. very rarely tells me no
3. tells me he loves me every day
4. works so hard so I can be home with the boys
5. is the world's best daddy
6. loves his lazy boy and I would light it on fire
7. loves volleyball and plays almost every week
8. would coach volleyball again in a heartbeat given the opportunity
9. is looking forward to golf season...already has his clubs in the car!
10. knows how to work but also how to relax!

Life is always changing...not too long from now some things on these lists will have changed and some will have stayed the same. But it will be fun to look back and remember...that's why we do this isn't it? To enrich our memories and preserve them for others to read and maybe learn from?

Light bulb moments...

Do you ever have those moments when something that is so familiar to you that you could recite it, sing it or do it without even thinking of it suddenly seems so different? But in a good way? Like it's taught you something and it seems so obvious that you wonder how in the world you ever missed it?
I sing I Am A Child of God every night to the boys...all four verses. And lately I have felt the spirit gently teaching me as I have paid more attention to the lyrics I am singing and not just singing words for the boys to hear. So here is my thought process...
There are four verses and to me they build on each other like stepping stones....verse one talks of being a child of God, and being sent to earth to our parents. This is essential information but very basic. Verse two acknowledges being a child of God but now recognizes that there is a need to learn more of Him and that there is a limited time in which we have to do this. Verse three again acknowledges being a child of God and now has the understanding that we are blessed with so many rich things from our loving Heavenly Father and that we have a part in receiving those wonderful blessings. Verse four is my favorite.

I am a child of God

His promises are sure

If I but learn to do His will

I'll live with Him once more

To me this is the culmination of the whole song and why we are here on this earth. We have reached a point of understanding and trust in our Father in Heaven in this verse and understand that He has promised us so many wonderful things...not just promises but sure promises that will be realized if we do our part. What could be more wonderful than returning to our Heavenly Father's presence?

I am so grateful for music and for the things that it can teach us when we allow our spiritual ears to hear and our hearts to feel. I truly believe that music is a gift from our Father that we can all enjoy whether we have musical talent or not. I pray that I can teach my children to feel the spirit through music and that it will be a blessing in their lives as it has been in mine.

Here I Am

I really don't have any good excuse for not writing a blog earlier....sure I've been busy but so has every one else. So what have I been busy doing?
Wednesday was Averly's baby shower. Grace is so precious and she got so many cute little pink things. One day....
Thursday Leslie and I had a well deserved girls night and watched No Reservations. It was a great chick flick and I normally don't like chick flicks. We ate some junk food and had a great time. Thanks Les!
Friday Cliff and I went and hung out with Colin and Megan Anderson. Made some yummy pizzas, went bowling and played some pool. I think I am honestly the worst pool player on the planet but by some fluke managed to beat Megan. We ended the night with yummy Slurpee's.
Saturday night we had tickets to see a comedian....some of his stuff was good and some was crude. Definitely a disappointment for the amount of money that we paid for the tickets but now we know for next year.
Saturday and Sunday were awesome in some ways and not so awesome in others. Awesome part was conference....listened/watched on the Internet here and really enjoyed all the talks. Can't wait for Thursday so I can re-read some of my favorites. Feel so blessed to belong to this church and to be led by a true and living prophet. I have always loved President Monson and was really impressed with the whole conference. Not so awesome was the head cold that I have been fighting for a week now....I seriously had doubts about whether or not I would ever be medication free or be able to breathe on my own again. I'm glad to report that I'm almost there.
We all have spring fever here....especially Rhett. He finds his shoes at all hours of the day and begs me to let him outside. We've been out as much as we can and even made the trek the other day to the big park across the lake. Zane rode his bike and freaked out for most of the ride there. He was convinced he would fall if I wasn't holding on to him(as long as he can feel or see my hand somewhere he was fine) but I was trying to help him and push the stroller as well. It wasn't going well and somewhere in Sylvan there is a teenager who is thanking his lucky stars I'm not his mother as he walked past us at the precise moment that Zane burst into tears and I told him to suck it up and pedal. Yes, those were my exact words, and no, it is not one of my prouder moments as a mother. He did much better on the ride home and we made it home without tears or me freaking out like a deranged mom.
Is it just my kids or are there others out there now that seem to be doing everything in their power to drive their mother nuts? I'll spare you the details because I feel like I've been doing a lot of whining on here lately....but seriously!
Cliff has 2 more days of work before a much deserved vacation! He's playing in a basketball tourny this weekend with a bunch of guys that he plays with every week. They have to go to Brooks and I am staying here because 2 days in a gym with 2 kids is not my idea of a vacation or even a fun time. He'll be home sometime on Saturday and then on Monday we're taking off to Banff. It will be our first official family vacation...ie somewhere other than Grandma and Grandpas! We've booked a great hotel room at a resort with indoor water slides and a huge indoor kiddie playground. Neither of us has really been to Banff before ( we stayed one night on a show choir tour when I was in high school but that hardly counts) so any suggestions of fun things to do are welcome. We're mostly just going for a change of scenery, no responsibilities, and some good family time. We'll be back sometime on Thursday and will hopefully get a few projects around the house finished off before Cliff heads back to work on the Monday.
In the meantime I'm trying to get healthy, crossing my fingers that everyone else stays healthy and that my sanity stays somewhat intact!