Saturday, February 27, 2010

Some of this....some of that....

So I haven't really been in the writing mood the past couple of weeks. You might have noticed. Partly because I've been T I R E D. Partly because we've been busy. But I thought I should try and get a little caught up because we have had some exciting things happen in our family.

Babies Born!

Nephew and Cousin Cohen John Russel was born February 9th to Cliff's sister Rikki and boyfriend Cory! 8lbs 1 0z and 20 inches long. He and Brock are a year and a day apart and he was only 1 ounce bigger than Brock. He has TONS of black hair that goes everywhere and is just soooooo sweet. We took a trip down to Taber over the teacher's convention weekend to meet him and hang out with family. It was a terrific trip and we had lots time to just hang out and relax with everyone. Didn't get to see Uncle Jamie and Amber because he was flying home and his flight was re-routed, cancelled and all that jazz...but hopefully next time. The boys thought Cohen was pretty neat. Brock always wanted to be with me or Grandma if we were holding him - maybe a little worried about his spot? And Brock kept us VERY busy going up and down the stairs. He's great at going up....and still gave me a heart attack every time he attempted down.

Cousin Caley Jackson had a baby girl yesterday February 26th. Finally a girl in the family! She and her boyfriend Cathal named her Harper Nally and she was 6 lbs 10 or 11 oz....can't remember! Have seen a few pictures and she looks like a little doll! So fun to have a little pink person in the family!

Because of the new babies I spent the week before we left hemming and sewing blankets and burp rags...the boys loved it because they got lots of picnics in the living room. I'm now trying to accomplish Zane's quilt for his birthday without him knowing I'm working on it.

Dog Update

For those that don't know, I let Cliff talk me into a getting a dog in October....and not just a dog but a 10 month old puppy. After 4 long months I finally convinced HIM that we were not ready for a dog right now. And so the search for a new home for Vato commenced. After a couple of weeks we finally found a family who fell in love with him and he seemed very taken with them, so Vato no longer resides here. Cliff is the saddest of us all, the boys don't seem to be phased at all - when I told them Vato was going to live somewhere else all I got was "oh, OK". And I'm mostly relieved. Vato was a big amount of stress in my life and it's been nice not to worry about him, or feel guilty about him etc. It's hard to admit defeat and give up on something. Neither one of us likes to do that. But we weren't giving him the love and attention and time that a puppy needs and deserves, so it was better for him to go live somewhere else.

Other Happenings...

We finally made it to the temple on the 12th. It's been a very long time since we had been and it felt so good to be back. We did a session and ended up meeting some friends from our ward there. We all went out to the Olive Garden afterwards and called that our Valentine's Day date.

On Valentine's day I made the boys pink pancakes. They were very worried about them until they tasted them. Then they decided that colored pancakes were just fine with them and Zane suggested that maybe we should have blue pancakes one day! I took a picture but you can't really tell that they were pink after they were cooked...more food coloring next time I guess!

The elders in our ward held a family tobogganing day on Family Day. It was the perfect weather - just below zero, no wind, nice and sunny and had snowed about 2 inches the night before. Cliff had to work but it was here in Sylvan so I took the kids and went. Zane LOVED it, Rhett was whiny and wanted to go home after 5 minutes and Brock was tired and cranky. Zane convinced Rhett to go down the hill with him once but that was it. He would go about half way up the hill and then run or walk down and just hung out with Zane and a bunch of kids. He is so my son - not a winter sports kind of kid. After much fussing Brock finally gave up and went to sleep and slept almost the whole time. It was a lot of fun for most everyone - a couple of little kids got ran over and one ended up with a bloody nose and cheek - but all in all a great day.

The Winter Olympics are being held in Vancouver this year. Zane's really been into the Olympics because of school and it's sports - do I need to say more? We watched the opening ceremonies as a family and it was fun and really cool. Rhett crashed an hour in and Brock about half an hour later. Zane was determined to make it to see the torch lit at the very end and although he struggled he made it. I thought it was really cool that we have such great technology available that he could witness that. Wayne Gretzky lit the torch and Zane declared that he was going to bed. I think he was asleep before his head settled on the pillow!
Of course with the Olympics on we've been watching a lot of sports - I mean more sports than is usual in this house -and a lot of hockey. Zane has learned the guy "I'm zoned in on the game and block everything else out" look and has really been into the games. Rhett gets excited when they score and they both just don't understand how mom isn't quite as pumped about this sport as they are. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy watching the play off games, I just don't get really emotionally invested into them.

The boys have also learned with Brock being super mobile these days that they have to do some things behind closed bedroom door. I've nicknamed him Babyzilla because he likes to destroy their train tracks and poor Rhett gets so upset and takes it very personally. He doesn't understand why Brock would do that to him. Poor kiddo. Maybe I should show him pics of when he did the same to Zane?!

Life is just thundering along and blasting through days and weeks. I can't believe that tomorrow is the last day of February. One day closer to spring!

Tuesday, February 09, 2010

Brock is One!

Can you believe that my baby is 1! I can't either! But I thought I'd take a quick picture trip down memory lane from the last year....


This was the first time I got a good look at Brock. I got a quick kiss before they took him from the delivery room to the SCN. It was really hard to see another baby hooked up to all the tubes and wires again but I was so happy that he was here. And sooooo cute! (Click here for all the details if you want.)This was my second or third hold. Because he needed high oxygen sats we didn't get to take him out of his isolate very often for the first 5 days or so. It was hard to remember that such a healthy looking baby could be so sick...but we knew he would be OK....just took a few extra days!Finally home! He was still pretty jaundiced so we had to sun bake him every day! The big boys would sit on either side of his chair and just stare at him. He just looks soooo small here!One month old....still has the dark hair and still tiny!

2 months old....not so sure about what mom's telling him...



Learning new tricks at 3 months old....enough pillows around means no toppling over while mom folds laundry!Oh so clever at 4 months! Showing off new favorite thing to do!Standing on Grandpa Dooley's hand - youngest one to do it so far at 5 months6 months old and not quite mobile yet...I miss these days!7 months old and insisting on feeding himself yogurt. Not so sure how much actually made it in!8 months old...getting good at pulling himself up on stuff and cruising around9 months old and getting ready for those first steps...if it didn't move he would grab it and use it for cruising!10 months old...fascinated by wheels that spin!11 months old...walking kiddo! Watch out world - here I come!One year old and the shirt says it all!Not so sure about all the "help" from his big brothersWhat good is a toy if it's in a box?Yummy lemon tarts to celebrate with!
He definitely knew what to do with the whip creme!Showing off for mom!

Gottcha mom!



At 1 year old Brock is:

- walking everywhere! He can't get up straight from the floor quite yet but can bend down and pick something up and keep going.
- has 8 teeth
- weighs 23.6 lbs
- is 30.5 inches tall
- LOVES to play hide-and-seek with Rhett
- is constantly moving or being busy
- has thrown his first toy in the toilet and is now banned from the bathroom
- can't wait to get into the bath tub but thinks he should be able to stand up
- has tried to drown himself after falling while standing in the tub and has flipped face first out of the tub because of standing up. I foresee many ER visits with this child
- loves the musical moving car we have

- gives Fives
- says "uh-oh" if you say it first
- is sad that all the kitchen cabinets are now child-locked. He keeps going around and pulling on them to double check
- is always moving around doing something
- didn't really care about he presents
- LOVED the whip cream
- a couple days before his birthday Auntie Kizzy was here and we had cake for her birthday - I gave Brock the beaters with whip cream on them - tried to shove both in his mouth at the same time and then cried when it was all gone.
- will finally hold his own bottle
- doesn't like apple juice
- has had his first bout of the stomach flu
- has big smiles when he hears Grammie S and Grandpa Dooley on the phone
- squirms to get down and go
- loves peanut butter and jam sandwiches
- loves taco soup
- eats pretty much whatever we are now days
- wears mostly 12-18 month clothes
- is so excited when Daddy gets home from work
- is starting to want to hang out with Daddy more often
- brings us joy every day!

Thursday, January 28, 2010

10 Things....

I've been working on this on for a couple of weeks now....just haven't had a lot of computer time! And I was thinking that it was only 3 months ago the last time I did this. But as I went back to find the last one I kept going further and further until I finally found it at the beginning of September! OOPS! At least I've blogged lots in between. So.....

10 Things I want to remember about Brock:


1. His sunshiney smile
2. His absolute busy-ness
3. His cuddles
4. He still has that baby smell
5. He ADORES his big brothers
6. He is fascinated whenever we turn the WII on
7. The joy he gets from dumping the bucket of cars...you can just see that he thinks it's the best ever!
8. Everyone just LOVES him
9. He thinks he should get to play the piano whenever someone else is
10. His walking skills improve every day



10 Things I want to remember about Rhett:


1. His imagination! He puts a couple of pieces of Lego together and it's a person, a car, a plane etc and he will play with it like that all day
2. He loves to play BINGO and Old Owl, and games like that and is always asking me to play
3. Sometimes he insists that he's a big boy, and sometimes he prefers to be a little boy
4. Watching him do an entire preschool workbook in Sacrament Meeting. I was so impressed by his attention span and knowledge.
5. He's starting to not let Zane run the show all the time
6. His still refuses to eat "real" food. He survives on peanut butter sandwiches, banana muffins, cheese and crackers, apples and bananas and his new favorite "sticky granola bars" aka Fiber 1 bars. Chicken nuggets and french fries are acceptable and will be eaten as well.
7. We tried to get him to eat a spoonful of rice - he gagged and spit and sputtered and was convinced we had poisoned him.
8. He's such a good helper! I was getting ready to vacuum and he picked up a bunch of toys without me having to ask
9. LOVES to play hide and seek with me. His version goes like this: I count to 10 while he hides in some place - most times I know where he is. Then I start listing off places that he is NOT. (I'm usually doing dishes or folding laundry or something like that when we play) Sometimes the places are silly and sometimes they are not and after about 5 or 6 wrong guesses I figure out where he is. Brock is now in on the game and loves to follow him and find him first. Oh the giggles this game produces!
10. He's starting to sing I Am a Child of God with me at night when I tuck them in. It melts my heart!



10 Things I want to remember about Zane...


1. His appetite for reading - he is doing so well and is moving through the reading levels at school at the top of his class. It's been awesome to see him learn this skill and to LOVE it!
2. His new love of piano - he's really getting it and enjoying it. He begs me for more than a lesson a week and practices without me reminding him to
3. His including Rhett in most of his games
4. He's a control freak in training....as soon as Christmas was over he was ready to move on and start planning his birthday - which isn't until the end of March!!! I told him he could plan all he want but I wasn't talking to him about it until March 1!
5. Watching him figure things out - the other night while the little boys were in the tub and I was folding laundry (I was 5 steps away from the tub) he was quizzing me on how old he would be when Brock was 2. I helped him figure it out and then he ran with it and figured out a bunch of different ages for him and his brothers at different ages.
6. He was sooooo excited for the Olympic Torch to come to Sylvan and was THRILLED that he was able to go. Cliff and I were out of town but he got to go with our friends.
7. He still makes up fabulous games for him and Rhett to play - although it's a little like a director telling an actor how to execute a scene "And Rhett then you say this.....and Rhett then you die - no not like that, like this....And Rhett then you......." Most days it works well for them!
8. Listening to him read a verse of The Book of Mormon every night. He LOVES it.
9. He will talk Grammie's ear off! Seriously, he will call to talk to my mom and talk to her for 1/2 an hour! When he's done he says "So, that's all I have to talk about". Cracks me up every time. And answering machines still throw him off a little. The other day he got mom and dad's and this is the message he left "Um, hi. It's me Zane. I'm at home.....and I'm going to be at home.....so you can find me here. Click. Still makes me giggle.
10.He's soooo anxious for me to get his quilt done - I need more hours in the day!

10 Things I want to remember about Cliff:

1. He put our dog up for sale - for me - even though he doesn't really want to get rid of him.
2. How excited he was to go to an NHL game when the Canucks were in Edmonton. He and a friend went and it was really great - the Canucks won in overtime and he had an awesome time. He hasn't been to one since he was 16 so it was time!
3. He has rescued Brock several times over the last couple of months from a very frustrated mom! Brock doesn't always want to be rescued but he perseveres until mom is a little calmed down.
4. Watching him and the boys wrestle and play at night - he's going to be in trouble when Brock starts joining in!
5. He calls me every day - just to say hi.
6. He always makes sure to call me if he's going to be late or to let me know when he's leaving the church or volley ball or something like that. It means a lot because I worry a lot!
7. He took great care of me when I had the stomach flu - I got to sleep in and everything!
8. He's been very supportive and helpful with Brock as I've been working out in the mornings and I sooooo appreciate it!
9. He makes me laugh every day.
10. He really enjoys his calling - most days at least!

10 Things I want to remember about me!

1. I am making progress towards my weight goal
2. I have made some small progress in my teaching ability - seminary that is
3. I'm trying to read more good things instead of always a novel that I've already read
4. Trying to recognize my limits and stay within them - and accept that my limits are different from others
5. Trying to enjoy my kids more
6. Zane gave me a badge he made that says I'm the coolest mom ever! How great is that!
7. I try to do one thing a day for just me
8. I have said no to some things that I knew I just couldn't handle and it felt really good
9. I am loving how Zane's Spider man quilt is coming together
10. I am looking forward to spring!

10 Things I want to remember about our family:

1. We are really enjoying our new family Book of Mormon. It has words highlighted and definitions, explanations, references and some pictures. It's been a great way to teach and learn together.
2. We have been playing more together and it's been a lot of fun
3. We are so blessed to have the friends that we have - they are like our family here away from our families.
4. We have been in the same ward for 3 years now....with no plans to change that!
5. We are actually thinking about camping this summer.....and I'm OK with it
6. We have had lots of little things happen that remind us that the Lord is mindful of us
7. We continue to improve on FHEs and I consider that an accomplishment
8. We are all looking forward to Brock's birthday party - the boys especially
9. We all LOVE ice cream yum yum yum
10. We were all thrilled to welcome our first nephew/cousin and are anxiously awaiting #2!

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Another one for the books....

So I live in a small house. Bigger than some but definitely smaller than others. And I usually like my small house and don't mind it. The big exception is when I'm trying to work on a quilt. With 3 busy little people it's hard to leave a quilt in various stages of doneness left out. So, I've come up with a little compromise. I camp out my sewing stuff on the kitchen table for a couple of days at a time and the boys get to have picnic suppers in the living room on an old sheet. They LOVE it. And this is where my story comes in....

I'm working on Zane's Spider Man quilt - yes still - remember, small house, 3 kids, nowhere to leave it....
And it's out on the table so the last 2 nights we've had picnics. Only problem is I won't let them have liquid in the living room. After the umpteenth request for a beverage I finally put milk into two of the water bottles Zane takes to school. They're stainless steel so you can't see what's in them. When I took them in Zane asked what it was and I said it was a surprise. Rhett took a swig and delightedly announced "Milk!" Later that night he kept asking me for something and after a minute I figured out that he was asking me for surprise milk. I chuckled and didn't think anything of it....until this morning when he almost had a meltdown because I wouldn't make him surprise milk and let him drink it in the living room. He didn't care that I hadn't washed the water bottle yet but finally came around to my way of thinking. And then tonight, when we were discussing what they wanted for supper the first request out of Rhett's mouth was "surprise milk!"
He makes me laugh!

And another quick thought.....
Been thinking lately about who reads my blog. Some I know, some I don't. I write it because I enjoy it, I use it as a journal, and it's an easy way for me to keep family and friends posted on the going ons of our life. And then quite awhile ago someone told me that they really enjoyed reading my blog and I was blown away because I had no idea they read my blog (and now I've probably embarrassed them if they even remember this and they won't read anymore. Sigh. ) But the point is I didn't know they read it because they NEVER commented on anything I wrote. I'm totally guilty of this. I read lots of blogs that I think are spectacular but I don't comment. Why? Sometimes I'm in a hurry, sometimes I don't want the person to know that I'm blog stalking them....but most often I think I'm worried that someone might judge what I have to say. But I've decided that's just silly. And so I'm going to try and comment on the blogs that I read. Maybe not on every post because sometimes I truly have nothing to say - I know - shocking isn't it - but usually there is something I like about every post I read. Everyone likes a comment - whether you admit it or not. So I'm challenging all my blog buddies to be more comment friendly...no one's going to cyber bite you....be brave and tell us (OK, ME) what you're thinking!

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

I don't know who's paying him....


But they're getting their money's worth!
Brock has been enlisted in the evil "keep mommy fat" conspiracy. It's true. Wanna' know how I know? Because he's slowly killing me with sleep deprivation. I know, I KNOW. Every mom out there is sleep deprived. But he SENSES when I'm going to work out and waits until I'm 10 minutes in and then wakes up screaming!!!!
Take early Monday morning. I teach seminary at 7:15 Monday morning....so if I'm going to work out I need to be up by 5:45...gross I know. He wakes up at 5:00 wanting a bottle...fine, whatever. 10 minutes later, bottle's done and the coughing starts and before I know it I'm wearing the contents of his stomach. So, into the shower we go. Now it's 5:30 and guess who's wide awake and not wanting to go back to sleep. You guessed it... and trying to get a work out in with him underfoot is not fun - newly walking child and a good workout are not conducive. It's 6:30 before I get him back to sleep - in our bed now cuddled in with daddy so I can get ready to go teach. BUT I tell myself no big deal. I'll just wait until he's down for a nap and then I'll work out. Yep. That was the plan. 10:30...down for a nap. Threw a load of laundry in, grabbed my shoes, started up the DVD, got 8 minutes in and then someone is SCREAMING! ARG. Tried to get him to back to sleep but it just wasn't happening so I gave up and did my workout around him. Of course I missed some parts because he wouldn't leave me alone and I had to keep distracting him so he wouldn't he get stepped on/kicked or otherwise maimed.

My point: finding it very difficult to work out which makes it difficult to eat good and makes the task of losing the remaining 40 lbs - yes you heard me right - even harder.

But I'm tyring to focus more on something else.
I'm a fan of the Biggest Loser. I just like it. Maybe because it validates my struggle with weight. At the beginning of this season the contestants went around the room and told their fat stories - why they are the way they are - and the common theme under them all was this:

I DON'T LOVE MYSELF

And I thought, how sad. And then I started thinking about me, and my weight struggles. For those who don't know me a year after my 2nd son was born I was 220 lbs. It was an ugly number. I went to Weight Watchers and lost 65 lbs. And kept it off for awhile. Then we had a miscarriage. Add 10 lbs please. Then we got pregnant with Brock and spotted for 9 weeks - work out? What work out? No work out for me when I might be miscarrying, oh and did I mention that I was an emotional eater? And a few other things cropped up which meant that I did everything in this last pregnancy that I swore I wouldn't and ended up over 200 lbs again. I don't know where I was after having Brock - I didn't want to know. 5 months after having him I decided to try again. I weighed in at 207 lbs. I've lost just over 20 of it. I'm committed and with him getting older it is getting easier. But it's still a daunting number and task. One that I've done before and one that I'll do again.

But I digress. I was thinking about the biggest losers not loving themselves and asked myself, do I love me? All of me? The good, the bad, the nice, the not so nice? And I had to answer no. I do not love all of me. Lots of me, but not all of me.

That was hard to type. Breathe.

OK. So, I've been working on this. A friend of my mom and mine told us something over Christmas

"If we could learn to truly love ourselves, as our Heavenly Father loves us, our weight and issues would just melt away".

I've decided to embark on this. I've prayed a lot, and pondered a lot. I've learned this is something that won't happen over night. And my thoughts have been directed towards some specific actions to help me love all of me. I'm hoping that when I reach my weight goal that I will have reached my love goal as well. That I will be able to look in the mirror and love me not only physically, but everything else as well.

So onwards and upwards until the conspiracy to keep mommy fat is nothing but a myth!

Saturday, January 16, 2010

a good memory....

Been meaning to write this one down for a while now...

Last week on the way home from church I pointed out the sunset to the boys (we have 1:00 church and it's mid-winter).

Me: Aren't we so blessed by Heavenly Father. He makes such beautiful sunsets for us to enjoy.
Rhett: That's where Jesus lives.
Me: Jesus lives in the sunset?
Rhett: Yep. Jesus lives in the sunset.

So there you have it. If you were wondering where Heaven really is you now know.

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Compromise and Re-Thinking....

I'm a bit of a control freak. Yep. I know...you'd never guess. I like to plan things...when things are going to happen, how they'll happen....

I do like to wing it - sometimes - but not with my daily routine. I like to get my work out done early, get myself ready and move on through the chores etc that need to be done that day.

But now I'm the mom of 3....and I'm learning that to get everything accomplished I have to compromise and re-think some things. My control freak self is still adjusting, and for the most part I'm doing OK with it. I have to re-think things. Example: What can I accomplish while Brock is sleeping and what can I accomplish while he is awake?

Yesterday was a good day. Brock was in a good mood for the most part and would actually play contentedly for short periods of time. I got buns made, a good workout (interrupted by the cable guy - out here they give you all day appointments...so hard to plan ANYTHING around!), dishes done, children fed, piano taught, supper made, cleaned up, children in bed, a trip to WalMart and another workout.

Something new to me is what I read while I steal my lunch moment....sometimes the only time of the day I get to read. And I KNOW you're not supposed to read and eat at the same time.....but I do it for my sanity. Anywho, I am one of those readers who gets totally absorbed into a new book. So usually I read something at lunch that I've already read - that way it's easy to walk away. Otherwise I get NOTHING accomplished! I decided to try something new and have started reading at least one talk a day from the last Conference Ensign. It's really been a great change and it's easy and do-able.

So wish me luck on this journey of compromise. I'm hoping for organized improvising - start with a list and get it done in any order I can!

Sunday, January 10, 2010

Promised Pictures....

WARNING: Lots of pictures....some are in order, some are not...



Christmas Eve Morning in Raymond..... Brock and Paxton got matching jammies from Auntie Kizzy.....it's so funny to think that these two were born in the same year. Amazing what 10 months can do to a baby!


Brock liked the boxes and ribbons...not into Christmas this year



Mom put together a quilting box for me with lots of fun material and other treasures....



Opening his snake quilt from Grammie
If you look close you'll see the snake heads with eyes....two are going one way and the rest the other way

Grammie finding her quilt that we made for her. Kizzy pieced it, I put it together and quilted it, and Alisha contributed to some of the materials. Kizzy and I stayed up until 3 am that morning to finish sewing the binding. Worth it!







Christmas Day in Taber.....









Grammie S and Grandpa Dooley each put a baby to sleep....I think this was the night of the 23rd...see I told you they weren't all in order!

How much bun with jam can one little baby shove in his mouth?






Modelling Zane's gift from Uncle Jamie and Amber
Being goofy
Brock on his 11 month birthday!