Temper Tantrums, Jogs, and Prayers

I know...it's only been a couple of days and here I am writing again. Now that you've closed your open jaws I can go on with my story.

This morning while out jogging I had this fabulous blog all composed in my head and of course because it was so fabulous I had oodles of comments on it. It's now been over 14 hours since I composed that draft in my head...we'll see how much of it comes back to me.

For those of you who talk to me on a regular basis you know that my youngest son Rhett is 16 months old and does not sleep through the night. Most nights he's up an average of 3 times...bad nights it's 5 + times. Last night was a bad night. And then he decided that 5:30 am was a the time that he should be wide awake ready to start his day. I start my day at 6:20 and am out the door on the pavement by 6:35...I do not appreciate the 5:30 wake up call because usually I'm up for 15-20 minutes at this time of the morning trying to convince him to go back to sleep. And to those of you who would tell me to just leave him to cry...I would if he couldn't get out of his bed! Then he's wondering around the house, finding things and turning on stuff. This morning it was a no-go for getting him to go back to sleep. By the time I was supposed to be leaving I was stomping around the house, getting him a bottle and telling him loudly(not yelling because Zane was still sleeping) that he was too little to be up by himself. However, because I am selfish about my hour in the morning I left him with cartoons and a daddy pretending to be asleep and headed out. In case you're wondering....this is where the tantrum came in, and no it was not on Rhett's part. It was all me. Yes, I, Kelly Johnson, 26 years old, mom of 2, still throw tantrums.

I headed out into the cold morning just fuming...trying to concentrate on my music and raging in my head at my Father in Heaven for not answering all my prayers pleading for sleep to come to my son and myself. To give you a feel for how long this foul, black mood followed me, let me explain how my morning exercise routine works. As soon as I hit the hallway my ipod is on and I'm getting shoes on, coat on, stretching etc. By the end of the first song I'm in the parking lot headed for the sidewalk. I walk for 1 1/2 to 2 songs...I start jogging at a specific house and jog to a certain spot...usually 2 or 2 and a bit songs. I walk for 2 songs or so and then I start the jog up the hill. When I first started I could only make it up the hill. Now this part of my jog is pushing 20 minutes long. Then I walk for a song, jog another small stretch and walk about 2 blocks home for cool down and stretches. Are you tired yet? I promise I have a point...as I started out this morning I wasn't able to get past my sour mood until I was almost through my long run. But here's what I learned. As I jogged and prayed, and jogged and prayed, and told my Father in Heaven how unfair it was that my toddler still does not sleep through the night - I realized that I have been praying for the wrong thing. I have been praying for my sweet toddler to be changed and I need to be praying for me to be changed. So, I will now be praying that my body will be able to do what it needs to do on much less sleep - that I will be able to be the happy mommy on 5 hours of sleep that I am on much more sleep.

I returned a much happier mommy...hopefully my new strategy will work.
And sorry, no pics yet. I've been busy packing and keeping Rhett from climbing and pushing every button he can reach!