Gift

Being the first Sunday of the month, today was fast Sunday. And we had many reasons to fast. Family members on both sides had requested a family fast either for themselves or on the behalf of others, and I was fasting for strength and resolve in my struggle with food.

And today was HARD! Not that fasting is ever easy. I don't know many people who enjoy being hungry. Who look forward to feeding their children tasty meals or preparing something tasty for the potluck after church while their stomach is growling and moaning. And I was VERY tempted to quit, to give up and give in. But when we began our fast last night we included the kids in our prayer. We explained before about our family members who had requested that we fast and a little about why Heavenly Father asks us to fast. And every time I thought about quitting I would think about these loved ones and would know that they were WORTH my sacrifice and my being hungry and uncomfortable for a few more hours to show that faith and diligence that the Lord has asked for. And as I pondered through the day I also came to realize that I am worth that choice as well. I choose the food that goes in my mouth and how much of it I eat. If I can make the choice to do something hard for those that I love, I can make the choice to do something hard for me. And when I had that small epiphany, it was like the missing puzzle piece fell into place. That obscure thing that I've been trying to figure out was there - being given to me. A gift. And suddenly, fasting wasn't so hard.

I was blessed with another precious gift as well today. During testimony meeting today Zane went up to bear his testimony. It's the first time that he has done that. I had just been out with Brock and as I walked back into the chapel there he was walking up to the front. He waited his turn, got up to the pulpit, and bore a simple and sweet testimony of the gospel truth. And my heart felt pure joy. That was truly one of the best moments I've had since becoming a mom. There is something so sacred and sweet to hear your child, whom you have loved, nurtured, and taught, to express his faith and understanding and knowledge of something you hold so dear. His face shone and I was so proud of him. For his courage and for his strength. How blessed I am to have such fine sons!

We ended the day with a wonderful potluck break the fast held at a dear friend's house. As we were surrounded by friends who love and support us and as we all revelled in the nice weather, the company, and the chaos that comes with a gathering that large (I don't even know how many people were there!) I thought that today was truly a wonderful day that I wanted to remember for a long time.