We have a new friend in the neighborhood. He and his mom just moved in with his Grandpa who lives 2 doors down from us. We've never had friends close to us...playing always involved organization from the parents. And now I watch my sons take off to another yard and house....and it makes me proud, anxious, happy, paranoid....do you see the problem I'm having? I have mixed emotions about this new found friend. On one hand I love that the boys have someone to play with because it's always more fun when there's someone else involved, it's great that they only have to go 2 doors down, I can see them every few minutes from my kitchen window, they like all the same things and speak the same "pretend language" (I'm going to be Indy and you'll be the shovel guy....) BUT on the other hand we don't know a whole lot about them and I think that's my hang up. I'm working on it. But it makes me nervous when they are in his house and I can't see them. I wonder if it makes his mom nervous when he's here? This situation is brand new. And my thoughts are all jumbled because it brings back some not so great child hood memories about things happening at friends' houses that my parents didn't know about...and I worry. What can I say to them now so that they don't end up in the same situation?
And they're BOYS! Totally different from girls. They think different, act different, respond different...
BREATHE. I keep telling myself this and try to give them the space and freedom to explore this new friendship and cross my fingers that it will enrich their lives and only offer minor bumps and bruises along the way.
And I have no idea what the 'friend' rules are for how long to play at a friend's house...what to do when families are on different schedules(they ate supper about an hour before us yesterday and we ended up with the new friend playing in our house while we ate. I promise I told him that he would have to go home and Zane would come over as soon as was done supper - but the kid just stood there so I let him stay. See, I'm totally out of my element here.) Our kids go to bed earlier than he does...get up earlier....oh this is going to be an interesting summer!
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We have the same problem with two girls that live in our building, they are great friends to our kid's but their rules are so very different than ours. They will play unsupervised outside for hours and all my kids want to do is be outside with them, which doesn't work when it is bedtime for my kids and the girls are still outside running around. I made a point of getting to know their parents and spending time in their home. This really helped me with any anxiety I had when my children go over to play. That is really the best thing you can do is get to know the mom of this new found friend. Hopefully that helps!
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