What to write?

Tuesday seems like an eternity ago and yet this week has also just flown by. I can't believe that I am throwing another birthday party tomorrow and that my inlaws are arriving on Saturday. My house is so not ready. Most of me is ready.
I'm sure there are many out there wondering how I am....honestly there are moments when I wonder the same to. I am tired. Very very very tired. As long as I keep moving I'm good but if I sit in one spot for too long I'm a goner, unless I'm actually in bed. Then I just lay there awake wondering if I'll ever sleep again.
But I'm sure I will. Today I actually felt pretty much back to normal...minus being so tired. But that comes from a lot of different sources. I've told my mom and Leslie that I'm a little worried that I've just pushed everything so far down that I'm not dealing with it but then again there's a lot of things that I don't feel that I did the last time. I don't feel guilty, I don't feel cheated or wronged. I don't feel despair or anxiety that I'll never have another baby. I feel calm. I feel sad that it didn't work out but I do feel that there is one more baby to come to our family and that Heavenly Father will send that baby when it is time. And it will be perfect and everything will be the way it should.
So for now I'm ok. I've cried, I've laughed, I've grouched, and I've got on with life. There are still children to love, tickle and laugh with, a husband to love, things to bake, laundry to do, parties to plan, cheeks to kiss, lunches to make, and friends to enjoy. In short there is still a lot of life and one disappointment will not keep me from living it. I hope it makes me stronger, makes me more empathatic (is that really a word?) makes me slower to judge when someone is having a bad day. I need someone here right now that's a blog techie so I could sing the one line of a song that keeps going over and over in my mind and they could attach it here. 'So you've had a bad day.....' I don't know anymore of the words or chorus but it definitely fits the happenings of our last week. Thank goodness for people who love us, care for us and lift us up.
Thank you everyone for your kind words, phone calls, yummy food, shoulders to cry on and most of all friendship. There's a song called "You find out who your friends are" that I really like and I'm glad to say that all my friends proved the song right. Tomorrow is another day that starts a busy and action packed weekend. I'll keep you posted on all the crazy happenings. Hope all is well .