Celebration!

This was me in January....I was 220 lbs and pretending to be happy. I'd had my hair done (it was my birthday) and although I was happy I was fat. But I wasn't ready to change.

This is me in April....still 220 lbs...still not happy that I was fat but still not ready to change.

This is me at 185 lbs....35 lbs down and feeling much happier.

Me around the same mid-way mark...definitely happier.

And this is me now...50lbs down! Yep I weighed in this morning at 170 lbs...and I feel fantastic! I have gone from a size 18 to a size 10 jean...from an XXL t-shirt to a L t-shirt. My bra size....well let's just say that I've decreased significantly! I am still on this journey...I want to lose another 25 lbs or so but the fact that I have reached this milestone that I used to only dream of has made my day. I remember I used to dream of the future and I would picture how much better life would be if I was 50+ lbs lighter...and of course it was always wonderful! The only thing was that in my dreams the weight just magically melted off without me changing the lifestyle I was living. I have woken up from that dream and have learned that to get the results I wanted I had to start living another life. I have learned and am still learning to make healthier choices in food, to eat less, to exercise more, and to be proud of what I can do. I have learned that some days are easier than others - some days it's really easy to walk past the fresh cookies on the counter and other days Cliff is the one baking and I'm hiding in our bedroom praying that the Lord will help me avoid the temptation. Some days my 3.5 mile run seems likes it's over before it has begun and others I feel like my legs are made of lead and that there is nothing in the world that could be worth the torture this run is. But it is worth it. Living healthy is not easy for everyone....i acknowledge that some people are naturally blessed not to have the addictive relationship with food that I have...but I also know that there are lots of us out there who do have this relationship. If you are one of them, please know that it is possible to change. It is possible to become healthier. It is possible to become the person that you want to be. But this person will not appear with the touch of an EASY button. You have to make the decision every morning and every time that you are faced with food throughout the day. And if you make a bad choice or a lot of bad choices just start over again. Pray. Our Father in Heaven wants us to be happy and that includes being happy with our bodies and how we feel and how we function. He will hear you and He will help you. Remember to reward yourself. Food rewards are OK but think differently....try to think of something that you used to enjoy doing but don't do anymore for one reason or another. Set small goals to get you to your bigger goals and celebrate those moments. This is a fight and every small goal is a victory against the enemy of overeating and addictive food. Don't live by the scale. Your body has many things that affect it and doesn't always reflect the changes you've made on the scale right away. Remember to look at all the small things that you've changed - exercise habits, eating better most of the time....

Remember that you are worth it and that the habits you have built up over years will not change over night but you are strong and can make the changes if you want them. And most of all remember that you are worth it!